Iv 






ERIC4N DRAMATISTS CLUB SERIES NO. 1 




EXPEPGE SHBTWEED 



OR 



THE COUNTY LINE 
B Comedy of new-Enaland Cifc 

BY 

CHARLES BARNARD 




Copyright, 1900, by 
CHARLES BARNARD 



THE PLAYS m 
TMJS SERIES 
ARE PRINTED 
EXCLUSIVELY ' 
ATTME ' — IN- 
STANCE OF 
THE AUTHOR 






EXPERIENCE 


SMARTWEED 


( 


3R 


THE COUNTY LINE 


H ComeOi? of 1ReWs=Bnglant> Xife 


BY 


CHARLES 


BARNARD 

M 

i 


Copyright, 1900, by Charles BARNARf) 


New York 


London 


SAMUEL FRENCH 


SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 


PUBLISHER 


PUBLISHERS 


26 WEST 22t) STREET 


8^ STRAND 



85709 

L-ibrary of Cor>gress 

Two Copies Receiv'::^ 






Experience Smartweed 



CHARACTERS. 



Abijah Hopkins A widower — Lead, 

Truly Smith Juvenile. 

AdonirUxM Simpkins Character part. 

Lawyer Chatham . . . ■. Character part. 

Experience F. Smartweed Lead. 

Prudence Pingree Juvenile. 

BijAH and Little Experience Ttmn children ofJosiah''s. 

Mrs. Jenkins 1 

Mrs. Flint 

Miss Studwell 

Mr. Flint 

Workmen and others. 



Minor parts. 



ACT I. — 'The forenoon in Josiah's house. Time : Evening. 
ACT II.-^Exterior of House. Time : Next morning. 
ACT IIL^Same as Act I. Time : Ni.iht of the next day. 
ACT IV.— Same as Act II. Time : Next following noon. 



EXPERIENCE SMAETWEEB 



OR 



THE COUNTRY LINE 



ACT I. 

'SdENE — Plain square room in old-fashioned counterJiouie. 
At left, near front, a door to kitchen. At back, on left, a 
door to narrow hall or front entry and to front garden- 
Windoics at back, looking out on garden and road. At 
right, a large brick flrejjlacefor open fire. At right, near 
front, a door to stairs and chamber. At right, above fire- 
place, door to closet. A settee at right above fireplace. Old- 
fashioned furniture. Bare floor with rag carpet before 
fireplace, a lighted lamp on table at right center. On the 

'■ floor a ivhite band or mark extending from the center 
back to edge of curtain. On ivall between windows a por- 
trait resembling Prudence Pingree. On table, beside 
settee, a neiospaper. 

'I3iscovered — Abijah Hopkins, seated in his shirt-sleeves on 
settee and gazing gloomily at fire. Appears dejected and 
discouraged. Josiah and Little ExPERiENCEpZa.ving on 
the floor' at center. Both badly and cheaply dressed. 
Little Experience is playing with a doll that is stuffed 
idith sawdust. Josiah is playing toith an old jack-knife. 
Experience shows the doll to JTosiah and points to its 

,. head. Josiah examines the doll loith ititerest. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 

Stella's got a toof coming. 

JOSIAH. 
{Puts point of knife in dolVs mouth) 
Suppose we orter cut its gumdrops. 
{Cuts the doll and the saiodust falls out) 
Gi-inger ! Your dolly's leaking. " ^7 ; 

■i LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
( With a howl of rage and despair) 
Oh, oh, you have tilled my dolly ! i^ ' 

JOSIAH. 
i just opened her mouth and the stuffing all ran out. 

5 



Q EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 

{Snatches up the doll and beats Josiah over the head with it 

and the saiodust flies out all over him) 
You have tilled my dolly ! 

ABIJAH HOPKINS. : 

{Wearily) 
Oh, children, children, can't you keep quiet ? 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
{Rises and cries bitterly and holding the doll in her hand) 
She's all gone deaded. Poor Stella is stone deaded. 
(Abu AH raises his hand in protest against the children, but 
says nothing) 

JOSIAH. 

; If she's dead, let's play funeral and have a procession . '< 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 

No, I won't play funeral. I couldn't bear to see Stella 
buried ! 'Sides, I've got nothing for her to wear. 

{Shoivs doll) 
Her things won't fit her now. Oh, you poor thing ! You 
poor thing. 

ABIJAH. 

I'll ask your aunt to make you a new doll to-mori*ow. 
Now, do try and be good till aunty comes home. 

{The children pldy in silente on the floor. Abijah gazes in 
the fire, j Sounds of storm outside) 

ABIJAH. 
{Looks at window) 

just such a September gale when Experience went away. 
Lemme see. It's seven years this very week since old Israel 
Smartweed moved up to Rutland and took Experience with 
him. I wonder if she ever heard I married Silence Pingree. 
Wonder if she heard that Silence died inside a year and left 
me her twins — to bring up by hand. If her sister. Prudence, 
hadn't come to live with me, I don't see what I would have 
done. Ho hum ! The world's a terrible place to live in — 'less 
there's a woman round the house. 

{Takes up paper from table. Reads it absently. Enter 
Prudence Pingree at back. She is dressed in cloak 
and felt hat and rubbers and carries umbrella. Appears 
wet and tired) 

ABIJAH. 

{Complainingly . Puts down paper) 

What made you so late? The children haven't had a mite 
'of supper. 

PRUDENCE. 
{Removing her things and takihg 'off rubbers. To JosiAlf) . 



THE COUNTRY LINE. 7 

Here, Josiah deary, take this wet umbrella to the kitchen 
and set it in the sink. That's a good boy. _ 

{Exit Josiah tcith umbrella at l. Stooping and ktsstng 
Little Experience) 

What's the matter, dearest ? 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 

{Showing doll) I 

Stella's gone all dead. 

PRUDENCE. 

The poor thing ! She does look a little thin. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 

{Caressing doll) 

'Es, Stella's got the sumption. 

PRUDENCE. 

(To Abu AH, tidying up the room) 

If it keeps on raining like tliis, don't suppose they 11 hav© 

'the vendoo. 

ABIJAH. 

Guess they'll have it anyway. . Folks that have vendoog, 
have got to take things as they coiiSe. I rolled the last barrel 
of cider out to the barn and some of the nabers promised to 
ibile a couple of hams and Miss Larkins promised to fry up a 
good mess of lier doughnuts. 

PRUDENCE. 

That's one consolation. They do say that plenty to eat 
always helps a vendoo, and the neighbors have been real 
friendly, considering. Seems an awful pity you've got to be 
sold out to-morrow just because they won't take your word 
that you paid the money to Joseph Lascom. 

ABIJAH. 
. Oh, well, 'tain't no matter. The world's all out of kilter, 
'anyway. First Experience didn't keep her word. . . . 

PRUDENCE. 
Experience ! What lias the child done now ? 

ABIJAH. 
I don't mean Little Experience. 

PRUDENCE. 

(Surprised, and then aside) 

Oh ! His old sweetheart ! He hasn't mentioned her name 
for years. 

ABIJAH. 
And then mother died and Silence died and old man Lascoila 



8 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

died and . . . now Uncle Ebineezer Samson's dead an4 
, buried. 

PRUDENCE. 

(Severely) 

Abijah Hopkins ! You stop right there. If you run on 
like that, you lose your hold and then where'll we be ? If 
folks see you are too low-spirited to-morrow, tlie vendoo will 
be a failure and thiijgs won't bring enough to pay those ever- 
lasting Lascom boys. 

(A loud knock at door back) 

PRUDENCE. 
: Whose calling such a night as this ? 
ABIJAH. 

(Rises and crosses to door) 

Guess it's Adonirum Simpkins. He said he might stop in a 
minute. 

PRUDENCE. 

(To Little Experience) 

Come, dearie, and help aunty get supper. 

(Exit Prudence and Little Experience at l. Abijah 

opens door at back. Enter Adonirum Simpkins at back. 

Takes off hat and places umbrella in corner, but keeps 

on coat) 

ABIJAH, 
Evening, Hiram. Considerable of a fall of rain. 

ADONJRUM. ' 

Yes, 'tis some wet. 

ABIJAH. 
Set down Hiram. Don't suppose they've read Uncle Ebi- 
neezer's will yet. 

ADONIRUM. 
Yes. S'afternoon, Lawyer Chatham's the executor. 

ABIJAH. 
Don't suppose he left anything — to me ? 

ADONIRUM. 
Well, now, you and me, "Bijah, was school boys together and 
been nabers ever since ; and I'm some elder'n you be 

ABIJAH. 
; Yes ; seven months. 
' ADONIRUM. 

And, you know I'm plain spoken man. 
ABIJAH. 
I You be, Hiram, considerable plain spoken. 



- ' THE COUNTRY LINE. ^ 9 

ADONIRUM. 

Well, you're too darn particular honest ! 'Member the time 
you was pinted Assessor for Hackmatack County, and how, 
when old John Smartweed thought he found gi-aphite on his 
farm, you raised his assessment and he got mad and sold out, 
and sure, none of his folks would set foot in Hackmatack 
County as long as they lived. 

ABIJAH. 

(Affected, turns away) 

I guess I sha'n't forget that — not right off. 

ADONIRUM. 

I don't say that you did just right, but you might have 
sorter let up on John Smartweed till you found out what the 
graphite mine was worth. Then there was that bull calf 
business. 

ABIJAH. 

(Angry) 

Now, see here. Uncle Ebineezer asked me toUet him pasture 
his cow in same field with my cow. And I said I would, and 
one morning, I found that each cow had a calf and his cow 
and one calf was dead. My cow was nursing the live calf, so 
of course it was my calf. 

ADONIRUM. 
Yes. And the calf had a white star in its face, same's your 
uncle's cow, and you and your uncle squabbled over that bull 
calf till he went to law about it. 

ABIJAH. ^^ 

Yes, and I won the case and then he broke into my barn 
and stole the calf and Lawyer Chatham "vised me to sue him 
for trespass. 

ADONIRUM. 
Yes, and now your uncle's cut you off — with four «iollars, 
which the will says is the vally of the bull calf. 

ABIJAH. 
(Astonished) 
Cut me off. 

ADONIRUM. 

Yes. Left every dollar to some stranger — up to Rutland. 
(Abijah crtished and silent. A biHef pause) 

ADONIRUM. 

(Rises as if to go) 

I'm darn sorry for you, Abijah. This coming on top of the 
vendoo is pretty tough. I'm to be the auctioneer at your 
vendoo and we must get the folks bidding lively. Suppose 



won 



10 [EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

you've got lot of stuff for the folks to eat. Good table help^ 
a vendoo. 

ABIJAH. 

(Rises) 

Yes. I've got cider and ham and doughnuts. Guess they 
^on't starve. Somehow, I wish I had somebody to bid up on 
things. 

ADONIRUM. 

Don't you have any bidding in business. Folks won't stand 
any nonsense at a vendoo. They are regular bargain-counter 
jackalls. That's what vendooers are. 

(A knock at door baok) 

ABIJAH. 

(Calls off) 
Come in ! . 

(To Adonirum) 
Don't hurry. It's only Truly Smith. 

ADONIRUM. 
He's some 'tentive to Prudence, ain't he ? 

ABIJAH. 
Yes ; considerable 'tentive. 

(Enter Truly Smith at back. He is well dressed and ap- 
pears to be a yoting city man) 

TRULY SMITH. 
Evening, Abijah. Evening, Adonirum. 

(They nod in silence) 
Saw the depo wagon few steps up the road all broke down. 
Guess he's got a lady inside. Bad night to be broke down. 

ABIJAH. 
' What seemed to be the matter ? 

TRULY. 

Harness broke. Driver was trying to fix it when I came 
along. 

(Points to red mark on floor) 
What on earth is that mark on your floor, Abijah ? 

ABIJAH. 

That mark ! Oh, that's the new county line.. 

ADONIRUM. 

You don't tell me that they have settled that county line 
business ? 

ABIJA.H. 
Well, the State surveyors were bothering round here all 
day yesterday, a-peeking through their spyglasses, and when 



r: '-^ THE COUNTRY LINE. H 

they got through they put a red mark on the house between 
the windows and another mark back of the house. 

(Points to front) 
And drawed that mark on the floor. 

TRULY. ] 

(At left of mark) 
Then, I suppose, I am standing in Maple County. 

ABIJAH. 
You be and me and Hiram are in Hackmatack County. 

ADONIRUM. 

(Laughing) 

Well, if that ain't the damndest thing I ever see. Whj*, 
Abijah, they'll tax you in two counties. 

ABIJAH. 

Let's see 'em do it. If they assess me iji Hackmatack 
County, I'll 

(Hops on the mark) 
hop over into Maple County and if they try any collecting 
in Maple County, I'll 

(Hops on the mark again) 
hop back into Hackmatack County. ' ,, 

(Others laugh) 

ADONIRUM. 

(Rises) 

Well, you can't vote in both counties, that's sartin. Sup- 
pose I might's well go long home. 

TRULY. 
Look but, Mr. Simpkins. As Sheriff of Maple Count^^ you 
have no authority to enter Hackmatack County. 

ADONIRUM. 

(Crossing the mark to door L.) 

Well, I guess I can cross the county line as a plain citizen. 

TRULY. 

[ Yes. But not as the Sheriff of Maple County. 
ADONIRUM. 

(Paying no heed to this) 

I'll be over early, Abijah, and help you get ready for the 
Vendoo. Good night, Truly. Night, Bijah. 

(Exit at back) 

ABIJAH. 

(Takes coat and cap from, closet at back on ii. Pats them 
on. Picks up lantern) 
[ Yes. She's to home. I've got to see to the critters in tlie 



12 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

barn. Seems kinder rough to do it for tlie last time. I"I1 
send Prudence in to you. 
{Exit at first left) 

TRULY. 

Poor old man.! Sold out to-morrow to ])ay a debt lie de- 
clares he paid . . . and took no receipt. Foolish old law- 
sviit too, about a worthless bull calf. Well, folks that go to 
law for trifles have to pay for their fun. Suppose the old 
liome will be broken up to-morrow. 

{Enter PRUDEXCEaiL. Truly rises, goes to her and kisses 
her. She appears very glad to see him) 

TRULY. 
Oh. Prudence, I liave such news for you. 

PRUDENCE. 
You know, dear, any good news that concerns you, con- 
cerns me. 

{They sit on settee) i^j^Jj 

TRULY. 
I have received an offer for a position in Denver. 

PRUDENCE. 
Denver. Oh ! Must you go so far away alone V 

TRULY. 
No. Not alone, my love. I accepted the offer and agreed 
■to start for the West . . . to-night. 

PRUDENCE. , £.J 

To-night, oh, 'Truly! 

TRULY. 

Listen, dear. There is a train leaves at one o'clock. I have 
engaged a team to take me to the junction and I wired for 
two berths on the sleeper. 

PRUDENCE. 
Two berths . . . wliy, what do you mean V 

TRULY. 
I mean you must go with me. We shall i-eacli Albany in 
the morning. We can stop over there an hour or two and 
find a minister. 

PRUDENCE. 

Oh, how can I go ? Who will keep house for brother V 
Who will take care of the children ? 

TRULY. 

{Earnestly) 

Now, look here. Prudence. What is tlie situation ? Abijah 



THE COUNTRY LINE. 13 

Hopkins marries your sister ami slie dies within a year 
leaving liini twins . . . and you. not fifteen 'years old, come 
here, keep house for liini and bring up his children . . . fo) 
your board. He never paid you a cent. 

PRUDENCE. 
Oh, lie gives me my clothes . . . and a home. 

TRULY. 
Yes. And you teach school to piece things out. I tell you 
I can't and won't stand it to see you wearing your life out in 
this way. Let him marry and get anotlier woman to work 
•for nothing. 

PRU©EN€E. 
He may not have a home to-morrow. You forget the 
veudoo. 

TRULY. 
Only anotlier reason why you should leave liim. He can't 
.give you a home any longer. He ought to have married . . . 
.years ago . . . and left you free. 

PRUDENCE. 

Oh, brother will never marry again. Not after that other 
woman left him . . . way she did . . . I wish to goodness 
■he would marr\^ . . . but he never will . . . not while that 
woman lives. 

(Sound of a knock at h:ick) 

TRULY. nri 

Somebody at tlie door. Dare say it's some of the neiglibors 
sneaking round to see wii;;t t!:ey <-:in l)uy to-morrow. 
{Ilie knock is repeittecl) 

TRULY. 
(In Imrried ichispe'v} 
Oh. Prudence ... Prudence I Promise uie you will go. 

PRUDENCE. 
(Quickly) 
No, no. I am not ready. I cannot leave the childreii. 

TRULY. 
. You promisLul ' that wc should be married soon. Why iiot 
to-morrow"? It is my only chance. I must go ... 1 can- 
not go alone. 

[The knock at back is rjpsatedi 

PRUDENCE. 
Go to niv room . . . wait there till I come. 



14 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

TRULY. 

Oh, Prudence, you will go ? Remember ! The vendoo's to- 
morrow. 

PRUDENCE. 

Hurry ! I must open the door. 
(Exit Truly at right) 

PRUDENCE. 
' ( With hand on door ; aside) 
^ Why should I not go? To-morrowis the end . . . audpoor 
sister's home may shelter me no more. 

(Prudence opens door at baclc. ^n^er-ExPERiENCE Smart- 
weed. Slie appears wet and cold. Carries no um- 
brella, but has an old carpet-bag) 

EXPERIENCE. 
(At door) 

Can I come in ? 'Tain't no trouble ? Sure ? 
if (Prudence smiles : holds the door open wider) 
Didn't k uow's you'd take a stranger in. Terrible wet rain. 
Kerredge broke down and driver said he had trusted to Provi- 
dence all day, but when the horse lost a shoe and bust his 
belly-band, he gave right up and said he guessed I'd have to 
go to the nabers. Sure, tain't a mite of trouble to take me 
in? 

PRUDENCE. 
{Closing door) 
You are quite welcome, marm. Won't you sit down ? 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Taking off her wet things and handing them to Prudence, 
who takes them in silence) 

Saw your fore-i-<wm light, and I came right in. So glad 
you keep your curtains up nights. It's so cheerful for the 
folks passing by to see the lights in the windows. Reminds 
them of home and mother. You are sure you can take me 

in's as well's not ? Yes. Tliauks. I'll take off my shoes 

they are wetter than the Red Sea after the Cliildren of Israel 
went over. Don't suppose your slippers . would fit me. I 
w^ear sevens. 

{Sees slippers by fire) 
Why, there's a pair of men's slippers bj' the fire. If you 
don't mind, I'll put them on till my shoes are dry. You 
might dry 'em before the fire. 

(Prudence takes her shoes and places them, on hearth) 
No, no, don't lay 'em down. They'll dry all out of shape. 
Hang them on the andirons and give me the dry slippers. 

(Prudence gives /ier Abijah's slippers and hangs her shoes 
on the andirons. Appears tobe greatly amused. Expe- 
rience takes the slippers and puts them on) 

Worked slippers true's I live, and my own stitch. I de- 



THE COUNTRY LINE. I5 

clare I never knew any woman could work slippers in that 
stitch. They fit first rate, tho' they are wore a bit big. 

PRUDENCE. 
Let me hang your wet things in the kitchen to dry. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Wish you would. Sure it won't be a mite of trouble to 
take me in V I guess I'll have to stay all night. Course I 
shall pay. 

", PRUDENCE. 

That's all right, marm. Of course, you can't go on to- 
night, and we can make you very comfortable. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Oh. I knew you could. I can see that. You are a regular 
housekeeper, and have a spare room with double bed and 
pillow-shams embroidered in red, with "Sleep well" in 
corner, and the edges all frilled, same as mother's. Don't 
bother 'bout any supper, tho", of course, I haven't had a thing 
to eat since nine o'clock this morning, and I can't eat in the 
cars. I hate crumbs in my lap. Just a dish of tea and some 
dry toast, and dish of preserves and sweet pickles. Don't 
go to any trouble "bout it. Suppose you have had your 
supper 'i 

PRUDENCE. 
Yes, some time ago. Shall I send the children to you ? 
They might entertain you. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Wish you would. I love children, though I haven't any 
myself. No. I never was married. Some folks are so fortu- 
nate, you know. 

PRUDENCE. 

You'll excuse me a rhoment, marm. J 

EXPERIENCE. 

Don't mention it. I'm real comfortable, thank you, and so 
glad you could take me in. I was on my way to Maple Four 
Corners. Haven't been there for years, because I promised 
]xiy father on his dying bed I never would set foot again in 
Hackmatack County, and 1 sha'n't do it, because I mean to 
stop at Deacon Elisha Simpkins' house, and that's the last 
house in the county. Suppose Deacon Simpkins' living still ? 

PRUDENCE. 

Oh, dear no. He passed on 'bout five years ago. His son 
'Adonirum lives there now. 

EXPERIENCE. 
[^Deacon Simpkins translated ! You don't mean it. He was 



IQ EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

the most worldly-minded deacon I ever saw — and the trouble 
was he was so sot on the next world he couldn't bother 'bout 
this. Don't hurrj'' supper, 'cause I'm not a mite hungry, 
tho' I haven't eaten a thing since I left Rutland seven o'clock 
this morning, and I sot and sot in those cars so long I thought 
I'd sot a bare spot in the red velveteen chair. 

PRUDENCE. 
(Aside) 

Don't suppose brother will know Iier from Adam. 
{Direct) 
Oh, excuse me, marm. What name shall I give? 

EXPERIENCE. 
Name ? You're going to have a christening ? : 

PRUDENCE. 
(Laughs) 
No. I mean your name. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Oh, yes, to be sure. Smartweed. Miss Experience Smart- 
weed. 

PRUDENCE. 

(Surprised, aside) 

Experience Smartweed — brother's sweetheart. This is prov- 
idential. They will meet, and of course, he' 11 marry her — 
and I can go with Truly and a clear conscience. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Anything on your mind. You seem real pleased "bout 
something. Sure I shan't wear my welcome out running on 
the way I do ? 

PRUDENCE. 

Oh, no, no ! You are more welcome than I can ever tell 
you. You have come to just the right place. Oh, you are 
very welcome. 

(Aside) 
What will brother say V To think she should come back — 
and the vendoo to-morrow. 

(Exit at L. ) 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Looks about) 

Strange how sorter familiar this house is. Seems for all the 
world as if I had been here before. Wonder whose place 'tis. 

(Sees portrait) 
That's her picture. Rather young to have children. 

(Takes off slipper, looks at it critically) 
I should like to know how any woman learned to make 
slippers like that. I declare it looks like the very pair of 
slippers I worked for — poor 'Bijah. I dare say he's joined the 



THE COUNTY LINE. 17 

-Heavenly Choir by this time. He said many a time he 
.couldn't live without me, and I guess he's translated. Of 
course, if 1 hadn't moved to Rutland, I'd be a widow by 
this time. I'll visit the cemetery to-morrow — and read all— 
the tombstones, and if I find poor Bi jab's name, I'll — I'll 

( Wipes a tear away) 
I'll tell him — no — no — I'll put up the tallest marble sarcoph- 
agus, with broken column and wreath that money can buy. 
Poor 'Bijah ! Cousin Ebeneezer Sampson's dead. If he's 
hallelujahing in the sweet by-and-by, he won't never know 
Cousin Ebeneezer Samson's left me so much money that I 
don't know how to divide it. Poor 'Bijah ! I hope he's happy. 

(Enter Josiah ajid Little Experience at l. ) 

JOSIAH. 
I didn't hurt your old doll. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
You tilled her. You made such a hole in her mouth she 
ean't speak. I hate you — ^ 

(Discovers Experience and pauses) 

JOSIAH. v_ ;;^ :^ 

Who cares for a rag doll ? 

(Discovers Experience. Stands staring at her) 

EXPERIENCE. 

Oh, my, my I I knew that woman was no kind of a mother. 
They look as forlorn as orphan asylumers. Won't you conie 
to me ? 

(They remain at door) 
I declare it makes my heart ache to see such neglected chil- 
dren. 

(To children) 
Come and see me. Come, dearie. Let me see your doll ! 

(Little Experience comes timidly to her and shotvs her the 
doll) 
Oh, the poor thing ! She looks rather thin. 

(Aside) 
My ! I do believe the child hasn't had a bath for a month 
of Sundays. 

(Lifting Little Experience in her lap) 
There, dearie, how is that? 

(Little Experience nestles up to her contentedly. To 
Josiah) 
Ah, won't you come too ? 

(He comes to her. Aside) 
Poor neglected little man ! I must talk to that woman after 
supper. I'll ask her to let me give them their bath and put 
them to bed. 

(To Josiah) 

'And what is your name, sir? 

2 



i8 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

JOSIAH. - 

Josiah. ' , 

EXPERIENCE. ■ ' ■ 

(Tb Little ExHERiENCE) ' < 

■ And what is your name, dearie ? ; '; 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. i 

Experience. J 

EXPERIENCE. \ 

(Surprised) i 

Experience ! Wliy, Ijipw funny. My name is Experience, \ 

too. < 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. j 

Father calls me Little Experience. i 

EXPERIENCE. 

Oh, does he V That's verj^ sweet in him to l?e sure. 

(To Josiah) ; ' ^ 

And what is your name ? j 

JOSIAH. ! i 

I told you, marm, Josiah. i 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. \ 

It's Josiah Hopkins, marm, and I am Experience Hopkins i 

(Experience sits gazing fixedly to the front, and gradimlly i 
relaxing her hold of Little Experience) 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
(In alarm) 
Oh, hold me tight, I shall fall. ; 

EXPERIENCE. , 

Suddenly clasps her tightly in her arms and kisses her. 

Speaks aside) ■ 

'Bijah's child. Named after me. This is his home— and 

that is his wife. ; 

{To Josiah) i 

My son. - '' :"■: \ 

(Aside) ■ ' i 

Oh, why did I say that— he might have been my son ! ' ] 

(Tb Josiah, and pointing to picture) '■ 

Whose picture is that, my boy ? ' 

JOSIAH. 
It's mother. •: 

EXPERIENCE. j 
(Aside) '■ 
The very woman. Then 'Bijah didn't go to the cemetery, .. 
after all. Married to a girl young enough to be bis daughter- 
poor 'Bijah ! Poor 'Bijah ! I 
(Filter Prudence af l.) ; 



\ 



'"-■■■■ THE COUNTY LINE. " jg 

PRUDENCE. 

Come, cbildren. It's bed-time. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
No, no. I want to stay with tlie company. Slie's so cora- 
for'ble. 

PRUDENCE. 
It's late now, dearie. It's time you were abed. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Would you mind if I put them to bed ? 

PRUDENCE. 
Oil, no, marm, thank you, I couldn't trouble j'ou. 

EXPERIENCE. 
{Rises ifitli Little Experience in her arms) 
It won't be a mite of trouble. Just show me the bath-room 
and I'll give them a nice bath and rub them down before the 
f^re and comb their hair and hear them say : " Now I lay me.'' 
It isr|.^t a mite of trouble — and I'd love to do it. 

PRUDENCE. 
We have no bath-room, marm. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Oh, that's too bad ! Sorry I spoke. Then let me put them 
to bed. You look tired. Let me do it, I'm 

(With an effort) 
I'm 'customed to children — :tho' I be an old maid. 

PRUDENCE. 
Reall}% marm, I tliank you— not to-night— to-morrow you 
mav do it. 

EXPERIENCE. 
I sha'n't be here to-morrow. Mebby, I'll never see those 
children again — as long as I live. I'd love to care for 'em- 
just once. Seems somehow as if they was — mine anyway. 

PRUDENCE. 

(R.) 

Come, children. 

EXPERIENCE. 
! (Puts Little Experience clown) 

Good night. Little Experience. Good night, Josiah. Bs 
good children — and — ves, ves, mebby, I'll see you to-morrow. 

(Aside) 
'Bijah's children and she won't let me do a thing for them. 
Mothers are so jealous. 

(Prudence leads the children to door at left. Experience 



,20 EXPERIENCE SMART WEED ; OR, 

stands watching them. As they reach the door, Truly 
enters at R. ) 
- TRULY. 

(Eagerly to Prudence) 
Is it settled — will you go ? * 

PRUDENCE. 

(Aside to him) 

Hush ! She— she is brother's old sweetheart. She has 
come back again. Now, I can go. 

TRULY. 
Oh, Prudence ! You have made me so happy. I'll get the 
team and come for you. 

PRUDENCE. 
Give me time to pack my trunk. 
TRULY. 

(Suddenly kisses her) 

No ! no ! Take a bag. 

(During this, Experience has been by signs bidding the 
children good night. -They throw kisses to her. Expe- 
rience, 071 seeing Truly kiss Prudence, appears sur- 
prised and shocked, and turns aivay from them. Exit 
Prudence and children r. Truly executes a wild 
dance of joy and suddenly eees Experience and stops) 

TRULY. 
' Gh, beg pardon, marm. Didn't see you. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Aside) 

Crazy as a march hare. 

(Direct) 
That's all right, I suppose, Mister, tho' it ain't common. 
Suppose you know who that lady is, Mister ? 

TRULY. 

(Crossing to left back) 

Oh, certainly, know her like a book ! She's all right. We 
understand. Prudence will be down soon's she puts the kids 
to bed. Make yourself at home. 

(At door) 
Mine — to-morrow — high jah ! 

(Exit back left) 

EXPERIENCE. 
Well, of all the born ijuts ! Poor 'Bijah ! He's made an 
awful mistake ! I don't mind her being flighty and doing 
without, a bath-room. I can forgive the awful clothes she 
puts on the children, but to kiss a young man who comes out 
of her room ! If they were 'gaged, they couldn't have done 



THE COUNTY LINE. 21 

•it more hearty. I declare I can hear that smack ringing in 
my ears this minute. Poor 'Bijah ! I hope he is happy with 
her. 

{Pauses in thought) 
"What on earth did she mean about a trunk ? And what 
did he say 'bout getting a team ? What in the name o' 
nature's going on here anyway? I do believe they mean to 
run away. 

{Sits hy fire on settee and gazes at fire) 
Poor Bijah ! Poor 'Bijah ! 

{Enter Abijah at L. Takes off coat and hat and puts lan- 
tern down) 

ABIJAH. 

{Aside, not observing Experience) 

That's the end of it. I've done the chores for the last time. 
To-morrow's the vendoo and 

{Discovers Experience) 
Oh, company ! Prudence must have let her in while I was 
to suppe.r 

{To Experience) 
Evening, marm ! 

EXPERIENCE. 

{Startled, hut turning away) 

Gracious ! What'll I do now ? It's Bijah. And my hair" 
all flying every which way. 

{Nervously brushing doivn her dress and fixing her hair) 
And my clothes are a sight — and I'm wearing his shoes — I 
must look like 

ABIJAH. 

(Aside) 

Seems kinder fidgety. Hope she hasn't come to paw over 
all the things in the house — to pick flaws in 'em — and buy 'em 
cheap — to-morrow. 

{To Experience) 

Sorry, marm, but we ain't exhibiting the things any more. 

EXPERIENCE. 

' {Aside) 
What in the name of goodness does he mean ? 

ABIJAH. 
Evening, marm. Hope I see you well. 

EXPERIENCE. 
{Slowly turns to him) 

I'm — I'm — pretty well considering — I was drove to seek 
shelter here. 

ABIJAH. 
{Surprised and pleased) 
Experience ! 



22 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED : OR, ; 

EXPERIENCE. 
Miss Smart weed, if you please, Mr. Hopkins ! 

ABIJAH. 

(More pleased) 

Why, I • never mistrusted you was here. I didn't ever 
;xpect to see you again — not on the footstool, Experience. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Well. You did think I'd fell off the footstool. Thank you, 
Mr. Hopkins. I'm not translated — tho', I might's well be — 
considering the circumstances. 

ABIJAH. 

(Smiles) 

You said once, Experience, that you would never again set 
foot in packmatack County. 

EXPERIENCE. 

{Rises from settee) 

I did — and what's more, I don't mean to. Of course. I, 
didn't know this was your house or I wouldn't be here. The 
depo kerridge bi"oke down and the driver told me to go to the 
nearest house for shelter for the night. If it's a mite of 
trouble, I'll go on to Deacon Simpkins'. He lives in the last 
house in Maple County, and I can stay there till I finish the 
business that brought me back to father's old home. 

ABIJAH. 

{Brightly) 

Oh, Miss Smartweed, you know j-ou are welcome to my 
house. Wish you'd stay, Experience. It's done me a power 
of good to see you again. I haven't forgotten you all tliese 
years. 

EXPERIENCE. 

{Aside ; sits in chair by table) 

Forgot me long enough to get married. 

ABIJAH. 

{More pleased) 

Your return is like a bit of sunshine on a cloudy day, when 
the sun's drawing water and lightin' the medders with gold. 
I'm real glad to see you— Ex — Miss Smartweed. You ain't 
changed a mite — only rather more comely and soma stouter 
— though. It's real becoming. Experience, it's I'eal becoming. 

EXPERIENCE. 

{Severely) 
^ 'Bijah Hopkins ! 

ABIJAH. 

[ That's right. Call me 'Bijah — just as you uster. 



THE COUNTY LINE. ;, 23 

EXPERIENCE. 

Mister Hopkins, I promised father on his dying bed I 
wouldn't set foot in Hackmataclv County again. I'll stay 
here in Maple County till to-morrow. 

{He laughs. She appears disconcerted. He laughs again, 
and looks at mark on floor) 
Why do you laugh, Mr. Hopkins ? 

ABU AH. 

(Suppressing^ laughter) 

Why, Experience, haven't you heard ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
' Heard what, Mr. Hopkins ? 

ABIJAH. 
Why, 'bout the new county line. You are sitting in Hack- 
matack County now. 

EXPERIENCE. 
How? 

ABIJAH. ' 

See that mark on the floor ? 

(She looks at it) 
That's the new county line. Where I lie is Maple County, 
and where you lie is Hackmatack. 

(Experience lifts her chair hy both hands and loalks with 
it behind her across the line and sits again) 

EXPERIENCE. 
Now, Mr. Hopkins, seeing I've got to stop here all night, 
I'll thank you to show me a room in Maple County. 

ABIJAH. 

Oh, certainly. Most of our chambers are on that side of 
the house ; but we've got a first floor spare room at the Maple 
County end of the house. Shall I show it to you ? 

EXPERIENCE. ''HB 

(Aside) 

I hate first-floor rooms. 

(To Abu AH) 
Guess I won't trouble you to show it to niie. Tell me where 
'tis, and I'll find it. 

ABIJAH. 

(Opens door, L.) 

This way, marm. Second door to the right. There's a 
'candle in the room and matches. Exp 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Shuffles across the floor. Stojjs and looks at fireplace. 
Aside) 



24: EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

Gracious I I've left 1113' shoes in the other county. Hope 
his shoes Avon'i, come otf . 

(Direct) 
Good-night, Mr. Hopkins. 

(Exits at L.) 

ABIJAH. 

(To C. Fusses about the room; locks back door) 
Just as tart as ever. Tongue balanced in the middle and 
teched with vinegar. Wonder what made her so peppery? 
And just as sweet as ever. Wouldn't let me tech her, tho'. 
I was just dying to hug her to death. Wonder what made 
her so f ussy V Can't be she is married. No. Didn't wear 
no ring. 

{Sees her shoes on andirons) 
Her shoes— all wet. and tramping round. Wish 

she'd hang 'em up here— forever. I don't mind her being so 
cold ; I'll break that down to-morrer. I'll win her back- 
spite of herself. 

( Fixes fire for the 1 1 igti t ) 
I wish it were to-morrer— just to see her— just to hear her 
talk. 

{Pauses before the portrait ; sjieaks to it) 
You won't mind, Silence, will you? She will be a good 
mother — to your children. Silence— and. oh, they need 
mothering— more'n I do. You know I tried to bring 'em up 
by hand— and I've most lost my liold- and things has gone 
wrong since you went awaj^ 

{Looks to L..) 
She's there, mother. Experience has come back again. 
She'll make us all happy again. Seems as if I couldn't wait 
for to-morrer — and to-morrer is the vendoo ! 

{Moving to R., appears crushed) 
The vendoo — great God ! Experience has come back — and. 
I've no home to take her to. 

{Stop)s ; appears startled; holds lamj) on his head ; looks at 
portrait) 
I declare, I do believe that picture winked. Was it only 
my imagination ? Silence ! Wliy do you look— so— so teasy 
round the eyes — and smiling round the mouth ? Be you 
glad — she — she is here ? Be you willing— she should mother 
your children ? Ah, I'll tell her to-morrow — Silence — I'll tell 
her you want her — to love 'em — and me. God rest — you, 
■Silence — God love you ! 

{Exits R., taking lamp. Lights down. Moonlight shines in 
loindow. A pause) 

•{Enter Prudence in traveling dress, cloak and hat and carry- 
ing hand-bag. Enters silently, crosses to door-back ; un- 
locks and 02)ens it. Stepjs out and stands in moonlight. 
Re-enters and closes door.) 



THE COUNTY LINE. 95 

PRUDENCE. 

It's fortunate tlie rain is over. It may be a good sign of 
pleasant days to come. 

{Crosses to luindoiv ; looks out) 
Why don't Jie come ! I never expected to run away to be 
married. How tliey will talk at the vendoo ! It's simply 
providential. She lias come back — brother will marry lier- — 
and this liouse is too small for too women. Oh. why does he 
not come ':' 

(E;ifer Experience at l.. la nightdress and the slippers, and 
wearing a piece of red flannel round her throat.) 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Aside) 

I knew I'd have a sore throat getting my feet wet and wear- 
ing these sli])pers. Wonder wliere slie keeps the goose-ile ? 
Something sorter told me to get up and come here. 

(Crosses to R.) 
I hoiDe the children are all covered up. That woman don't 
know any more how to care for children tlian a babe unborn. 

(Pauses at door, r.) 
'Wish I could see if the children are all right. He's tliere — 
with his wife. 

(Turns to L.) 
'Tain't no use : sJie wouldn't let me see 'em. 

(During this Prudexce discovered her, and stands watching 
her, and then comes down r.) 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Discover iny her : aside; toe.) 

His wife — and all dressed. Ah, now I know wiiy I was 
Called here. 

(To Prudence, severely, in half-wliisper) 

Oh, my child I my child I How can you dream of such 
wickedness!:' You mean to run away. I must save j^ou from 
this folly. Go back — go back — I tell you ! 

(Prudence stands irresolute) 
Go to your room, and on your knees thank heaven I was here 
to save you. 

PRUDENCE. 

(Crossing to R. c. ) 

Oh, Miss Smartweed ! I ureant no hanli I You do not 
'tmderstand. Oh, Miss Smartweed I 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Points R.) 

Go back — to your place — where you belong. 

PRUDENCE. 

I tell you it's u mistake ; vou don't — - 



^26 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

EXPERIENCE, 

, (Pushes her to door, R.) 

It's an awful mistake. Y'ou must go back — at once. 
(Pushes her out door, R., and locks door) i 
'There! I've saved her. Poor 'Bijah ! he will never ino^w 
what I did for him. 

(Suddenly crosses the mark on floor) 
Gracious ! I forgot I was in the next county. 

(A sound heard at door hack) 
Hark ! What's that ? 

(Crosses to 1j. near front. The door opens and Truly, -m 
overcoat and cap, enters. Aside) 
Ah ! her partner in crime. 

Truly. 

(In loud ivhisper) 

Hurry, Prudence ! The team is here. Are you ready, 
dear ? 

(Moves cautiously to c, and feeling his loay with his hands) 
I must call her. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(In sepidehral voice) 

Young man ! 

TRULY. r^) 

(Startled) 

Ah ! What's that ? 

(Laughs nervously) '. 

My own nervousness makes me hear things. 

(Calls to R.) ' '\ 

Prudence ! Prudence ! 

EXPJERIENCE. 

(Aside) 

Precious little he's got 

(Trvsly , feeling his ivay across the room, mistakes upper door 

on R. for loioer door ; opens the closet door catitiously 

and calls again as he exits) 

TRULY. 
Prudence ! Hurry ! The team's waiting. 
(Experience silently folloivs him and quickly closes and locks 
the door) 

TRULY. 
Darn it ! Ough ! Prudence ! Prudence ! Let me out ! 
I'm locked in. 

EXPERIENCE. 
(At door) ] 

Young man ! Your best j^lan is to make yourself comfort- 
able on the floor till morning. 
(He pounds on door) 



THE COUNTY LINE. 27 

Stop that ! You'll rouse the house. They will take you for a 
burglar — you may get hurt some, if you act like that. 

TRULY. 
Oh, lady, lady — and the sleeper paid for. 

EXPERIENCE. 
That's rough. Go to sleep and repent of your folly. The 
way of the wicked is hard. Hush now or you'll get into a 
pack of trouble. 
[Crosses to l.) 
Now I can sleep in peace. Poor "Bijali. He'll thank me in 
the morning for all I've done for him this niglit. 
(Exit L.) 

Quick Curtain, 



;,38 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED : OR. 



ACT II. : 

Scene — Before Abijah Hopkins' house. 

Time — Wlorning — the next day. 

At Right — Barn tvith large door. In the ham a table on 
which are ])lates, some bread, ham and doughnuts and 
several mugs. At back, on "L. , one-story house with tico 
practical ivindows, step and porch. Flowers and vines on 
porch. At L.. a tree ivith seat. Before house a lot of old 
second-hand furniture, including a frying-pan, stove, 
kitchen table, ironing board and quantity of kitchen plates, 
etc. All marked toith tags on it for an auction. At back, 
between house andbarn, landscape drop. Rigid-hand win- 
dow in house open. On front of the house between the 
windows a red mark and the letter M marked on the wall 
at R. of the mark, and H marked on the L. Grass before 
the house and on the grass a tvhite mark extending fi^om 
the mark on the house to curtain line. Bench or seat near 
barn door, R. 

(After rise of curtain, enter Abijah in shirt-sleeves from the 
barn and carrying a pail of water. Appears greatly 
pleased) 

ABIJAH. 

At last it's ter-morrer. And Experience is here. I didn't 
sleep a wink a-thinkiug of her. Wonder if she's down yet. 
Prudence must cook her up the best kind of a breakfast she 
knows how. Prudence must liave overslept herself this 
morning. I thought I'd fetch tlie water for the tea and sorter 
get things ready for breakfast. Suppose I orter shave and fix 
up, seeing Experience is here. 

{Sees the furniture) 
Darn it all ! I forgot the vendoo. 
{Enter at house door Josiah and Little Experience. Both 
appear unioashed and brushed as if just out of bed. 
Are only partly dressed and carry the rest of their cloth' 
ing in their hands) 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. '^X.] 

T waiit to be pinned up. "' "^ 

JOSIAH. ■ ': 

I want my beckfast. 

ABIJAH. 

{Surprised) 

Great 'arth and seas ! Ain't you children dressed yet ? 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
^ I want to be washed and combed. 



THE COUNTY LINE. 29, 

ABIJAH. 

(,Puts down pail at c.) 
Where's your aunty ? 

JOSIAH. 

She's sound a-bed and she's locked her door. " 

ABIJAH. 
Come here. 

(Hastily fixes the children's clothes and smooths their hair 
loith his hands. ) 
You children must be as good as pie to-day for we've got 
company. 

(Experience here appears at r. window. Looks at others) 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
Is the boof er lady going to make us a good long visit ? 

ABIJAH. 
Yes. I kinder guess Experience will stay for quite a spell. 
I shall ask her to — soon's we have breakfast. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(At window, aside) 

Can't she dress her own children ! Has 'Bijah got to do it ? 
Well, I always thought 'Bijah woiild make a good father. 
Bless his heart, how he does love those children ! 

ABIJAH. 

> (To children ; taJces up pail) 

There ! Now, you children behave to-day— 'less you want 
a licking. And don't you bother round the company all the 
time. Stay right here while I see 'bout breakfast. 

(At door) 
And don't you tech those things in the barn — now mind. 

(Exits to house) 

JOSIAH. 

(Looks at barn) 
^ See the table all setted. Guess it's breakfast time in the 
barn. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 

Goody ! I see doughnuts. 

(Both run to R. and exit into barn. Experience looks after 
them as if pleased to see them. Then looks out of loindow 
to see if Abijah has gone into the house. Appears to 
discover the mark on the house and the white mark on 
the ground. Looks back to house. Tlien looks to front 
___ and to R. and L. Sloivly climbs out the ivindow to the 
III^^ ground. Shakes out her skirts) 

EXPERIENCE. 
^ Had to do it. I'm not going to set foot in Hackmatack 



.30 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED : OR, 

County, if I can help it. This is the Maple County side and 
here I stay ! 

(Sees furniture) 
Why in the name o" nature did she put her kitchen things 
out of doors ! Must be her sweeping day and she's put 'em 
all out here while she sweeps and dusts. Frying-pan most 
wore through. Ironing board all burnt up — and plates nicked 
to pieces. She don't take a mite of care of his things. Makes 
my head ache to see such a mess of old truck. Poor 'Bijah ! 

(Sees table in barn ; moves r.) 
Table all set in barn and ham enough for a donation party ! 
Must be she's going to have a picnic. 

{Sudden uproar inside house. Experience startled. Looks 
to house) 
{Enter Abijah at house door and carrying old gun, he ap- 
pears to be terrified) 

ABIJAH. 

{At door) 

Robbers ! Burglars ! 

{Backs doivn-stairs and stands facing door with gun in 

hand. Experience hides guickly in barn and then looks 

out) 

EXPERIENCE. 
Are you killed, 'Bijah ? 

ABIJAH. 

N-n-oh ! 

EXPERIENCE. 

That's a mercy ! What's the matter ? My iieart was iii 
my mouth. I most swallowed it. 
{Noise repeated in house) 

(Aaijah aims gun at door, examines gnu, appiears dis- 
gusted) 

ABIJAH. 

I haven't fired old Snj'der since Maj' training. She won't 
go off. 

EXPERIENCE. 

What in the name o' nature's the matter, anyway ? 
{Noise repeated) 

ABIJAH. 
Burglars ! Man in the closet ! He's pounding on the door ! 
{Enter Experience /Voui barn : appears relieved) 

ABIJAH. 

{Seeing her) 

Oh, that you, Experience! Morning. Hope I see you 
well. 



% 



THE COUNTY LINE. 31 

EXPERIENCE. 

Gracious I You nearly gave me a fit. Wliy don't you go 
let the poor misguided critter out ? 

ABIJAH. 
It's a burglar — in the closet. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Well, he isn't one of the regular kind, tho' he did try to 
rob you of — something. Do let liim go. Don't be harsh with 
liim. I guess he's been punished "bout nuff. 

ABIJAH. 

You didn't see the robbery, Experience ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
Well, fact is, had a sore tliroat in the niglit and I got up — 
to get the goose-ile and I saw a man 

ABIJAH. 
What did he get ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
He didn't get anytliing. I frustrated his nefariovis designs. 
{More noise outside) 

ABIJAH. 

Tiiere he is again. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Do let the poor miserable critter out. Don't try to rest 
him. 

ABIJAH. 
{Moves to door : clutches gun) 

If he's got anything of mine, I'll tlirash liim till he can't 
stand. You keep away, Experience. These burglars are des- 
perit characters. 
{Exit to Jiouse) 

EXPERIENCE. 
Must be the young man wlio wanted to run away with 
Abijah's wife. I guess after wliat happened she won't be so 
crazy to go with tlie feller. 

{Looks into ham) 
Merciful goodness, tiio cliildren are eating the picnic ! 
Thej^'ll be down sick before the procession starts. Here! 
Experience I My child ! Did you never see a doughnut be- 
fore ? 

{Exits to barn) 
' {Enter Truly at Jiouse door ; appearstired and, untidy and 
carries Ji.is great coat on Ins arm. Comes to c. Then 
enter Abijah at house- door and without the gun) 



• 32 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, ;;: 

ABIJAH. 

(At door) 

Great "arth and seas, Truly, How in thunder did you get 
locked into that closet ? 

TRULY. 

. {Dusting coat and brushing himself) 
I called to see — Prudence. 

ABIJAH. 
What ! After I'd locked up and gone to bed ? 

TRULY. 
You see it was such a sj^lendid moonlight night I thought 
Prudence would like to — take a ride. 

ABIJAH. 
Oh, that accounts for the broken team out in the road by 
the big elluni. 

TRULY. 
(Surprised) 
Team broken ! Was there a horse ? 

ABIJAH. 

Nary horse. The harness was broke and the rig busted to 
flinders. 

TRULY. 
Thirty-nine dollars gone — and a hired hoi^se. 

ABIJAH. 
What I'd like to know is how you got locked into that 
closet. How'd you get into the house, anyway ? 

TRULY. 
The front door was unlocked, and I went to call Prudence 
when I stepped into the closet by mistake, and the lock 
snapped. 

ABIJAH. 

How could it. It wasn't a snap lock. 'Sides, Miss Smart- 
weed said you was trying to steal things. 

TRULY. 

I didn't steal. I came to get Prudence and I must see her 
at once. 

(Throws coat on porch ; moves to door of house) 
We haven't a minute to lose. 

(Exits to house) 

ABIJAH. 

Experience thought he was a robber, and locked him in the 
closet. That's the way 'twas ! 



THE COUNTY LINE. 33 

{Loud crash heard outside back) 
Nother burglar ! 

{Filter Truly at door. Appears greatly excited) 

TRULY. 
Her door was locked. I knocked — no answer. I busted in 
the door, and the bed isn't touched and the back window's 
wide open. 

{Picks up coat. Begins to put it on) 
I must follow her ! 

ABIJAH. 
Where you going ? 

TRULY. ' 

{Moves 'R.) 

Tlie poor distracted child has gone to find me. She thought 
I was false to her. I'll travel round the world till I find her. 
(iood-by, Mr. Hopkins. I shall never return vmtil I find her 
— here — or in heaven I 

{Exit at back) 

ABIJAH. 

Crazy as a June bug ! Bet a dollar she was to meet him 
and take tliat ride and when he was fool enough to get locked 
in the closet, slie spent the night at the nabers. Girls ar' 
curus critters anyway. Suppose I better see 'bout breakfast 
for Experience. 
1^ {Exit to house) 

{Enter Experience folloioed by the two children from the 
barn. They appear to be more tidy now) 

EXPERIENCE. 

No more, dearies ! You have had enough for one breakfast. 
Now you go and play in the lane. Your father will be long 
this morning and you must be good children and not trouble 
liim for anything. 

{Stoops andjcisses Little Experience) 
Good-by, Little Experience. I may not see you again. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
Aren't you'going to stay^? I guess father'd love to have you. 

EXPERIENCE. 
No, dearie, I niust go home now. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
I don't want you to go. I want you to take care of me and 
snuzzle me — same's you did last night. 

JOSIAH. 
{Moves up back) 

Oh, come along, Experience. I'm going to throw stones at 
the frogs. 
2 



;34 EXPERIENCE SMART WEED ; OR, 

ts 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
And won't you come back again — some day ? ' 

EXPERIENCE. 
No, dearie. I may never see you again. 
(Kisses her) 
Good-by, Little Experience, good-by ! 
(Turns away and wipes a tear from her eye and bloivs her 
nose violently. Exit the children) 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Solus) » 

I never was so tore up in my life I Providence made an 
awful mistake giving those children to 'Bijah's wife. She 
ain't a mite of faculty at mothering 'em. To think I was good 
as 'gagecl to Abijah Hopkins and now I come back a lone, lorn 
woman and find — it's awful — awful ! Poor 'Bijah ! Don't 
really seem's if I could meet Iiim again. If I could get 
into the house without going into the next county, I'd get 
my bag and go along to Maple Four Corners. I'll write to 
Abijah to send me my bag by one of the nabers. He and his 
wife and her folks are to have a picnic. Don't seem's if I could 
stay to a picnic. 

(Enter Mr. Chatham back) 
Here's some of the company now. Guess I might's well go. 

CHATHAM. 

I beg pardon, marm. Is not this Miss Smartweed ? ; 

EXPERIENCE. 
Yes. That's my name — Mister 

CHATHAM. 
I'm Mr. Chatham, attorney-at-law and executor for th& 
estate of Ebeneezer Samson. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Oh, yes, to be sure. I'm glad to see you. I got your letter 
at Rutland day 'fore yesterday and I come right up, but the 
depo kerridge broke down and I had to stay here all night. 

CHATHAM. 
I heard of 'the accident, marm, and I come right over to 
see you. , Won't you set down under the tree, Miss Smartweed ? 
I've a number of things to tell you. 

EXPERIENCE. 

No, no, thank you. I don't like tliat seat. 

(Goes to barn) 
I'll sit here by the barn. Suppose you are ready to give me 
Cousin Ebeneezer Samson's monev ? 



THE COUNTY LINE. • 35 

CHATHAM. 

^ Oh, certainly. As you're the sole heir under the late 
Ebeneezer Samson's will, I shall turn over the entire estate 
to you to-day. At the same time, I called this early upon 
you, because there is one little matter that needs immediate 
attention. 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Alarmed) 
Cousin Ebeneezer didn't have no debts. 

CHATHAM. 

Oh, no, marm ! There are no debts, but under the terms 
of the will, you inherit the family lawsuit. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Surprised and alarmed) 

Lawsuit. I didn't know he had a lawsuit. What was it 
'bout? 

CHATHAM. 
Of coui'se, marm ! You have_heard of the celebrated case 
.of the bull calf ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
The bull calf ? What in the name o' nature's the bull calf ? 

CPIATHAM. 
It is a deeply interested case. marm. I will explain. Your 
lamented cousin liad a cow that he pastured in the same field 
with another cow belonging to the other party in the case. 
Observe, madam, the cows in one pasture. Well, one morn- 
ing tiie other party discovered that each of the cows had 
given birth to a calf. 

EXPERIENCE. 
. That's real interesting, I'm sure ! 

CHATHAM. 
But, unfortunately, one cow and one calf had died in the 
night. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(With feeling) 

My ! My ! How sad ! Of course it was the other man's 
cow. 

CHATHAM. 

I regret to inform you, marm, that your lamented cousin's 
cow was dead. Now comes the sad part of the story. The 
other party drove his cow and the living calf home and left 
your cousin to bury his cow and the dead calf. 



,36 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED; OR, 

EXPERIENCE. 

( Warmly) 
TiHow perfectly outrageovis ! Of course, Cousin Ebeneezer 
endeavored to recover his property. 

CHATHAM. 

He commenced 'suit to recover the vahiable bull calf the 

man had stolen — and won the case, but he refused to give it 

up. Thereupon your cousin entei-ed the defendant's barn and 

took possession of the bull calf and conveyed it to his house. 

EXPERIENCE. 
That's all right. It belonged to him. 
CHATHAM. 

As you say, marm. It belonged to him, but the other 
party commenced suit for trespass, and just before your cousin 
died^ he instructed me to commence another suit for the full 
value of the bull-calf. Of course, marm, as j^ou inherit the 
entii'e estate, you will continue the suit. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Certainly. I shall expect you to continue suit at once. 
{Several ivomen enter at back) 

CHATHAM. 

( Takes out papers and pen ) 

I thought so and I brought the papers. If you will kindly 
sign there, I will at once serve the documents. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Signs papers) 

That's right. Poor Ebeneezer would want me to defend his 
rights. There, Experience Fox Smartweed, Spinster. 

CHATHAM. 

(Folds up papers) 

Don't call him poor, madam. He was anything but poor, 
as you will soon learn. I shall be at my ofifice this noon, 
marm, at Maple Four Corners, and shall then be pleased to 
convey to you your entire property'. 

EXPERIENCE. 
That's real good in you, I'm sure. I'll be there at twelve 
o'clock, as I really ouglit to be going home this afternoon. 

CHATHAM. 

Then— till noon, Miss Smartweed— I'll bid you good morn^ 
ing. 

(More toomen and one or tioo men enter. All examine the 
furniture) 

EXPERIENCE. 
Morning. Morning, Lawyer Chatham. 



THE COUNTY LINE. 



37 



{Exit Chatham at hack. Aside) 
If my cow died naturally the calf would die too. No. Tiiat 
dou't follow. The poor calf, finding its own mother was dead, 
would naturally go to the other cow — for breakfast — and that 
cow's calf being dead, she would naturally welcome my calf. 
I guess that's logic. Of course, the bull calf was mine. 

{Appears pleased) 
I never had a real live calf. I shall train it to eat apples out 
of my hand and come to my call. I'm kinder sorry it's a 

bull calf 

{Pauses in surprise on seeing them examining the furniture) 
Well ! I must say ! The nabers are uncommon free with 
Abijah's wife's things. "Tain't no affair of mine. Suppose 
I really ought to go along. Wonder where Abijah's wife 
keeps herself. Suppose I orter bid her good-by. Guess I'll 
have to write to her and thank her for taking me in. 
{Enter Adonirum at back. He carried an auctioneer's red 
flag a^d printed poster. Hejnitsup the flag on the cor- 
ker of the building and tacks the poster on the barn near 
front. The p>eople enter the hou'^e and are seen moving 
about in the house. One or two enter the barn and help 
themselves to the lunch. Others examine the furniture. 
Experience stands in silent amazement, looking at the 
others till the poster is put up, when she goes to it and 
reads it. Vfter reading poster ; sits right. 
Abijah Hopkins — goods and chattels — at auction ! Poor 
Bijah never was fore-handed. The very morning I got back, 
he has a vendoo — and I tliought it was a picnic. 

{Looks at others) 
How they do paw over his %\-ife"s things. They'll open her 
bureau drawers and pull out her work table where she inade 
the children's clothes and put a price on the baby"s cradle. 
Poor woman ! I pity her. I aint a mite surprised she wanted 
to run away last night. I always said — Loves hates a skimpy 
home. 

Enter Abjab. from house. Vppears dressep up in his best 
uut crushed by the colamity. Looks about, about, btit 
__-^does not see Experience, who sits at r. behind the people 
at n.c.) 

ABIJAH. 

{Vside) 

I hope Experience isn't here to see this miserable vendoo. 
I'd be almost glad if she's gone home, though, I did want to 
see her once more. 

I EXPERIENCE. 
^ (Vside) 

I'll wait a minute and see how things go, Mebby I can 
lielp 'em by bidding up on things. What's the good of having 
money if you don't use it to help folks ? 



38 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

ADONIRUM. 

(Standing on box next to house) 

This sale will begin with the kitchen untensils. 

( V man holds up the things in turn. The others appear 

interested) 
How much am I offered ; for lot number one — how much 
for this fine large frying-pan ? 

MRS. JENKINS. 
Three cents. 

MRS. FLINT. 
Five cents. 

[ADONIRUM. 

f^ Fine large frying-pan with handle — going at five cents. 
Five cents. Five cents. 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Aside) 
Cost thirty-nine cents, if it cost a penny. 

ADONIRUM. 
Five. Five. Five. Gone at five cents. Name, please ? 
C^thei's appear pleased and eager to bid) 

MRS. FLINT. 
Lands ! I don't want the old thing. I only bid on it to 
help a naber. 

ADONIRUM. 

'. You can't refuse the sale, Mrs. Flint. 
MRS. FLINT. 
Oh, well, tain't no great matter. Hope Bijah will get the 
five cents though. 

ADONIRUM. 
Lot number two. Tin wash-boiler. ! Good's new. 
(Man ^olds jvas™-boiler up>) 

MISS STUDWELL. 
Ten cents. 

ADONIRUM. 
Oh, Mrs. Studvvell, only ten cents. You know you can't 
buy a wash-boiler on Main Street for less than a dollar and a 
skimpy one at that. 

MRS. JENKINS. 
Fifteen cents. 

ADRONIUM. 
Oh, this is too bad. Only fifteen cents. Make it a dollar. 

EXPERIENCE. 

( Vside) 
' How'll his wife wash without a biler ? 



THE COUNTY LINE. 39 



ADONIRUM. 

Fifteen. Fifteen. Going at fifteen cents. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Forty-nine cents. 



Fifty. 



MRS. FLINT. 
EXPERIENCE. 



Dollar. 

. [Sensation among oilers) 

ADONIRUM. 

Going for dollar, dollar, dollar. Gone for one dollar. 
What name ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
Fox. 
( Vside) 
That's my naiddle name, anyway. 

ADONIRUM. 

Gone to Miss Fox for one dollar. Lot number three. 
Now here is a bargain. 

(Man s^o'^s stove ) 
Cook-stove with four holes. One leg missing — you can put 
a brick under it, and otherwise perfect. How much for this 
cook-stove ? Needs a new lining, but otherwise perfect. 

MISS STUDWELL. 
Dollar. 

MRS. FLINT. 
Two dollars. 

EXPERIENCE. ' 
( Vside) 

How on 'arth will Bijah's wife manage without a-cook 
stove ? 

ADONIRUM. 
Two dollars — two — two 

MRS. JENKINS. 
Two'u half. 

ADONIRUM. 

'_ Two and a half. Two fifty. ' 

EXPERIENCE. 
Ten dollars. 
{Great sensation among others) 

ADONIRUM. 
Thank you. Going at ten, ten, ten. Any other bid? Gone 
at ten dollars to Miss Fox. 

(The oilier began to talk angrily among themselves audio 



40 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

looWand point at Experience.':JAbijah appears pleased 
and tries to see who bid on the stove, but cannot see 
Exp. as the others croivd about her) 

EXPERIENCE. 

( Vside) 

It's worth ten dollars to'see Abijah so pleased. 

ADONIRUM. 

How much am I offered for lot number four ? Fine 
handsome kitchen table — one leaf missing, but you can set 
that side against the wall. 

{M^i shows table) 

EXPERIENCE. 
Ten dollars. 

ADONIRUM. 
That's a good starte. Ten dollars, ten, ten — going at ten ! 
(Abijah more pleased. Others more angry. They begin ^o 
to talk louder) 

ADONIRUM. 

No other bid. Ten. Ten. Going for ten dollars. Gone 
for ten dollars. Lot number five. Ironing board with 
blanket — all in good order tho' some burned. 



Three cents. 
Five cents. 

Six. 

Seven cents. 

Ten cents. 

Twelve. 
Two dollars I 



MRS. FLINT. 

M. STUDWELL. 

MRS. JENKINS. 
M. STUDWELL. 
MRS. FLINT. 

MISS. STUDWELL, 
EXPERIENCE. 



ADONIRUM. . : 

Two — two — two dollars. Going at two dollars. 
{The three ivomen talk together in excited manner) 

ADONIRUM. 
Quiet, gentlemen, if you please. I can't hear your bids. 
Two dollars, two, two! Going at t^i o dollars. Gone for 
two dollars. Lot number six. Assorted lot of kitclien plates, 
saucers, mugs and so on. How much for the lot? 



^ THE COUNTY LINE. 41 

MRS. JENKINS. 
One dollar. 

MRS. FLINT. 
DoUar'n half. 

EXPERIENCE. ,-^ 

Fifteen dollars. 

(Sensation) 

MRS. JENKINS. 
It's outrageous. Fifteen dollars for a passel of old plates 
p.nd half of 'em nicked. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Sixteen dollars. 

MRS. FLINT. 
Sixteen fifty, darn ye ! 

EXPERIENCE. '" " 

Seventeen. 

MR. FLINT. 

My wife bid on those plates and I'll fight yovi on it, 
Seventeen twenty-five. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Twenty. 

MR. FLINT. 
Twenty-one. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Twenty -five. 

ADONIRUM. 

Going at twenty-five — dollars — twenty-five. 

[TJie other bidders gather round Abijah, as if expostulating 

ivith Mm. Abijah protests and retreats to L.) 
Going at twenty-five dollars. 

THE OTHERS. 
No sale ! Fraud ! Put-up job ! I tell you, put-up job ! ' 

MRS. FLINT. 

( To Adonirum) 

Mr. Auctioneer, it's no sale and I won't take your old frying- 
pan. It's cracked anyway. 

ADONIRUM. 
It's worth ten cents for old junk, niarm. 

MISS STUDWELL. 
'Tain't no sale. Some folks is bound to get everything. 

THE OTHERS. 
(Moving to R.) 
That's so ! That's so ! 



42 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

ABIJAH. 

{Standing on steps) 

I tell you 'tain't my fault. I haven't any money to bid in on 
things. Guess if I had twenty-five dollars, I wouldn't throw 
it away on a iness of old chiney that didn't cost three dollars. 
Don't hurry, folks. Tliere's cider in the barn and ham and 
doughnuts. Help yourselves, everybody, lielp yourselves. 
{The x>eople iMur into the ham as if to eat the things. Ex- 
perience assists them and exits to barn. The others 
sloivly exit at back) 

ADONIRUM. 

{Taking doivn his flag — to Abijah) 

Durn it all, Abijah Hopkins, what in thunderation did you 
do that for ? 

ABIJAH. 
Do what ? 

ADONIRUM. 

Didn't I tell you last night not to have any bidding-in 
business ? 

ABIJAH. 
I didn't bid in a thing. 

ADONIRUM. 
Wasn't that woman bidding on things for you ? 

ABIJAB[. 
I don't know any woman bidder. I suppose the sale is all 
off? 

ADONIRUM. 
Sale ! Spiled ! I guess 'tis. The vendoo is busted. I won't 
charge you nothing for mv commissions, cause ye can't pay 
it, if I did. 

{By this time the last of the people have gone and Experi- 
ence enters from barn) 

ADONIRUM. 

{Discovers her) 

Why, if that ain't Experience Smartweed. I haven't seen 
her for years. She ain't changed a mite — except she's slicker 
than ever. 

{Crosses to her and appears greatly pleased to see her) 

ABIJAH. 

{Aside) 

And Experience was here all the time. Now she knows I 
haven't a cent, she won't never have me ! Ho ! Hum ! 

ADONIRUM. 

(Offers both hands) 

I'm real glad to see you again, Miss Swartweed. When did 
you get back to Maple County ? You're looking as blooming 



THE COUNTY LINE. 43 

^s an English breakfast tea-rose. I'm real glad to see you, 
Experience. 

{Abijah begins to gather up the things and takes them to the 
house) 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Pleased) 

Haven't seen you, Adonirum, since we were together up to 
the red schoolhouse at Tater Hill. Been doing pretty well 
since our folks moved away ? 

ADONIRUM. 
First-rate, first-rate, considering. No money in the county, 
you know — small potatoes and few in a hill. How's your 
■folks ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
Well, they're tolerable, considering — they're all dead but 
me. 

ADONIRUM. 

Father left you comfortable, I supjbose ? 
EXPERIENCE. 

No, father never had a cent. Left me few debts and 
tilings, but no great to speak of. I paid *em. That reminds 
me, I believe I owe you fifty-eight dollars. 

AI^QNIRUM. 

(Surjyrised) 

Owe me fiftj-eight dollars. What for ? 

EXPERIENCE. 

Why ! The things I bought to the vendoo, 

ADONIRUM. 
Oh, yes, Experience Fox. Funny I didn't think of you. 
Pshaw, there wasn't no sale. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Yes, it was a sale. I bid the highest and I demand the 
goods. 

(Adonirum has papers which he takes from pocket) 

ABIJAH. 

(Aside) 

Experience bid on the things. She couldn't bear to see the 
plates poor Silence used go to the nabers, and she spiled the 
vendoo. 

ADONIRUM. 

I believe you are right. Fifty-eight dollars, ::;^; if; "■■ 

^ABIJAH. '" : 

(To Experience) 
You meant well. Experience, bidding on them things. 



44 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

EXPERIENCE. 
Abijah Hopkins, yoii don't think I was going to stand here 
andj see your wife's things scattered to the four winds of 
heaven, do you ? 

ABIJAH. 
You meant \vell, and I'm obliged to you, but you ruined 
my vendoo. 'Tain't no matter, I guess I can scrape along 
somehow. 
(Tiirns away and takes things into house and exit to house) 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Looks after him a minute, then goes to Adonirum) 
What'd you suppose all the stuff is worth — stock, furniture 
and all ? 

ADONIRUM. 

Oh, the whole outfit wouldn't bring two hundred dollars. 
I'm sorry for Hopkins. He's good kind of a feller, but no 
faculty. Why, he owes now four hundred dollars to the 
Lascom boys, and he's got a lawsuit on his hands. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Gives him money) , 

There's the fifty-eight dollars. 

ADONIRUM. :] 

(Taking the money) ^_''' % 

Thank'ee, Miss Smart weed. 

EXPERIENCE. 
That binds the sale ¥ , , j, 

ADONIRUM. 

Yes — guess it does. / 

EXPERIENCE. 
Then, I bid five hundred dollars on the whole lot. 

ADONIRUM. 

I" (Astonished) 

f~ Five hundred dollars— Miss Smar tweed. That's a power of 

money. Of course, yovi have 

EXPERIENCE. 
Oh, I've got it. Suppose you heard I inherited all of 
Ebeneezer Samson's property. 

ADONIRUM. 

(Surprised and pleased) 

You— sole heir ! You don't mean it. I am delighted,^ Miss 
Smartweed. I congratulate yovi, I'm sure. Why, you'll be 
the richest woman in this county. 



THE COUNTY LINE. ^5 

EXPERIENCE. 
There's no other bid. T.;j>n; 

ADONIRUM. 
Bless me ! I'm sure I'm real glad, Miss Smartweed. Old 
Samson Avas reckoned to be wortli nigh on to 

EXPERIENCE. 

There's no other bid. 

(Enter Abu ah from house) 

ADONIRUM. 
Bid— oh, no, no ! You take the whole outfit, tho'. I don't 
see what you want with such a mess of old truck. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Mebby I'll give it away. I'll bring vou the money— to- 
morrow, and don't you tell him who 'twas bought him out. 

ADONIRUM. 

Sattinly not I 

(To Abijah) 
Sale's finished, Abijali. I'll fetch you the monev to- 
morrow. 

(To Experience) 
I'm real glad to see you again, Miss Smartweed. Hope 
you'll stop in and see me 'fore you go home. Suppose I orter 
bid you good morning. Miss Smartweed, 

EXPERIENCE. 
Oh, morning, Adirum. morning. 

ADONIRUM. 

(Aside) 

The richest woman in the county — and she called me 
Hiram I I shall wade in — at once. 
(Exit at back) 

EXPERIENCE. 
( To Abu AH) 

You better get the things into the house and see 'bout 
dinner. Don't set a plate for me — for I've got to go now. 

ABIJAH. 

F' That kitchen table is yom-s. Experience— and the cook store 
and the wash biler. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Oh, well. I ain't hankering after 'em just now. You folks 
can keep 'em for the present. Suppose t orter go. 

ABIJAH. 
JIast you go, Experience ? I'm veal glad to see you again 



46 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED : UK, 

and I had a notion that peiliaps I'd see yon some more — 
same's we did— 'fore you went away. 

EXPERIENCE. 
I kinder gaiess, Abijah. that things have got to stay 'bout 
as they are. 

ABIJAH. 
Yes — I suppose so. I'm some darn poor and tlie children — 
are an awful botlier. Of course, I couldn't expect to 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Aside: turns ton.) 

If he wasn't married I kinder guess I'd make things dif- 
ferent — mighty quick. 

(Enter Chatham V/f back — carries papers in hand) 

CHATHAM. 
(To Abijah) 
Morning. Mr. Ho[)kins. 
' (Experience looli-s on with groiving interest) 

ABIJAH. 

Morning, lawyer Cliatham. 

CHATHAM. 

Sorry to trouble you. but here are some legal papers for- 
you. 
"^ ABIJAH, 

More lawing business ! Ain't it bad enough to have a 
vendoo ? Ain't it bad enough to liave the nabers rare up and 
bust the sale without another lawsuit "? 

CHATHAM. 

Can't help t'lat. 

ABIJAH. 
What's the case this time ':' ] 

CHATHAM. 
Counter suit in tlie bull calf case. 
ABIJAH. 
Why old man Samson is dead. How can he bring a suit 
iiow ? 

CHATHAM. 
His lieiress has taken up the case. You'll find her name on 
the papers. 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Starts foncard but stops at the county line) 
Oh, Mr. Hopkins I I never mistrusted j^ou took that bull 
calf. 

(Aside) 
X4ttle uaore and I would have been in the next county. % 



"" THE COUNTY LINE. . ZZl'^^ 

CHATHAM. 
That's the man, marm. That cruel and stony-hearted map 
< tore your helpless calf from its dead mother's arms. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Oh, Abijah ! I never knew that it was you who sheltered 
my poor calf. 

CHATHAM. 
Yes, marm. But for that man your calf might have become 
the pride of Maple County. It might have been worth sixty- 
nine dollars. 

ABIJAH. 

Why. Experience ! I thought old skinflint Samson owned 
the calf. 

CHATHAM. 

' "Yes, sir, so he did. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Interrupting. Furiously fo] Chatham) 

I never told you to go to law with Abijah Hopkins. ^ 

CHATHAM. 

Excuse me, marm. But you so instructed me. There's 
your signature to the papers. 

EXPERIENCE. 

( Turns to R. hy barn) 

I wouldn't have done this for forty calves ! 

{Aside) 

What will he think of me ? 

CHATHAM. — -— - 

(To Abijah) 

Will you take the papers ? 

(Abijah turns away to l., hut standing on the County Line. 
Experience looks at h/ini, appears to observe his post' 
Hon. 

EXPERIENCE, 
(To Abijah) ; 

i Could I trouble you to go to the house ? 

ABIJAH. 

(Moving to the r.) 

No, marm. I won't go to the house. You tend to your 
own affairs, Miss 8mart\veed. You come to my house last 
night to sp3^ out my poverty and pretending to be my friend. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Mr. Hopkins t Abijah ! 

ABIJAH. 

(Moves R. ) 
' Don't Abijah me I You knew I was most crazy with that 



,48 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

awful debt, and pretending to help me, you bid in [all my 
things and ruined my vendoo. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Abijah Hopkins, listen to me. 

ABIJAH. 

No I I won't listen to you nuther minute. You ruined my 
sale with your cussed interference, and now you bring suit 
against me 'bout that bull calf. I'lie darned old calf's been, 
dead these two years and yet you go to law about it. 

EXPERIENCE. 

You'll be regretting them cruel words, Abijah Hopkins. 
Once more, I ask you to go to your door. 

ABIJAH. 
No. I won't move a stop from where I be ! 

EXPERIENCE. 
Abijah, go to your door step — to please me. ^ 

CHATHAM. 
Oh, get a move on you, man, to satisfy the lady ! 
ABIJAH. 
j^(Crosses to L. at door and sitsivith his head in his hand, in 
changed manner. ) 
Oh, well, it's all foolishness, anyway. 

EXPERIENCE. ,j 

[ {To Chatham) I 

"Will you allow me to see those papers ? 

CHATHAM. 

(Crosses to L,.) 

Shall I not serve them first ? 

EXPERIENCE. 

, (Alarmed, moves after him as far as line) - '; 

No ! No ! Let me see it first. 

CHATHAM. 

(Gives papers across line to her) 
Oh, certainly, marm. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Moves to R. and looks at papers, speaks siveetly) 
If I understand these papers, sir, they are only good in 
Maple County, 

CHATHAM. 
(Following her R.) 
Yes'm, _„ 



~ THE COUNTY LINE. '^ '.l 4^ 

EXPERIENCE. 

And you cannot serve them iu any other county 'i 

CHATHAM. 

No — of course not. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Points to line) 

You see that line. 

(He nods) 

Well, sir, that's the County Line. Mr. Hopkins is now in 
Hackmatack County, and 1 dare you to serve any papery 
upon him. ' 

CHATHAM. 

(Aside) 

Fooled by a woman. 
(Enter Little Experience and Josiah at back) 

EXPERIENCE. 
(To Chatham) 

Take your old papers, and that's the last job you'll get out, 
of me ! 

CHATHAM. 

(Take^ the papers and shakes his fist at Experience, aside) 
I'll fix you for that, old lady, darn ye ! 

EXPERIENCE. ; 

; (Aside and looking to Abijah) 1 

He'll never know I done it for his wife and babies. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
(To Experience) 
, Take me up. I'm so tired. 

EXPERIENCE. ' "j; 

' (Eagerly taking her tip and kissing her) 
.There! Deary I Mother will come soon. 

JOSIAH. 

(Clinging to her dress) ;: [^\~;3' 

I want my dinner. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Leads them to barn) . ; 

Come, dearies ! Let's see what we can find in the barn. 

(Aside and looking at Abijah) 
I hope he understands. 

(To children) 
Oh, here's nice bread and ham and such lovely doughnuts. 

(Aside) 
I'll kill that lawyer ! 

'(Exit to barn with the children) 

4j ., ^ ,_. 



>'a 



:50 ^ EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, '?. 

ABIJAH. 

^ And Experience is a rich woman— and I ain't got a dollar! 
I'd give her all the world if I had it. and she's so rich she 
brings a suit for the valler of a dead calf ! Money seems to 
spile some folks. No, I won't say tliat. Nothing could spile 
Experience for me. I don't mind anything she done ! She 
meant well, but slie's only a woman and Avomeu are curus 
anyway ! ' 

{Enter a hay ivithtico letters at back. Looks about and sees 
Abijah. Goes to him and gives them to him. Abijah 
looks at one and keeps it and gives other letter back to 
boy and points to barn. 
She's in the barn, 

{Boy crosses to barn and exits. Abijah slowly opens letters. 

Boy reenters from barn, examining coin. Appears pleased, 

bites it doubtfully. Appears satisfied. Exits at back. 

Abijah reads letter hastily. Sits quickly as if crtished) 

I knew the world's all out of kilter. 

{Looks at letter) 
I might have known they'd do it ! I don't Wame Prudence. 
Suppose she cares for the feller and she wouldn't let him go, 
—without her. I don't see who's to wash and dress the chil- 
dren—and get my meals 

{Eises icith difficulty and exits to house. At door) 
Women are curus critters— anyway. Ho hum ! Guess I 
. can't stand much more this sorter thing. 

{Exits. to house. Enter ExPERiEifiCE sloioly, from barn a)id 
reading the letter) 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Reads) 

I've written to Abijah to tell him that I've met the man I 
love. Sorry I couldn't stay with Abijah any longer. 

(Speaks) 
Got tired of the everlasting dish-washing —and making beds 
— and sweeping— and botliering with children. Some women 
seem to be born holler witliout any liearts in 'em. I dare 
saj^ Abijah wa'n't no great of a provider— and children are 
terrible wearing to the spirit ! Poor woman ! She'll never 
have another minute's happiness in this world ! 

(Here Little Experience enters from barn. Appears to 
walk ivith difflcidty. Totters and puts out her hands to 
Experience, who does not see her, being lost in thought. 
Little Experience tries to go to her, hut fails. Sud- 
denly discovers Little Experience, goes to her and 
picks her up in her arms) 
Oh, you poor motherless baby, better your mother had gone 
to the cemetery ! Mercy ! The child is sick. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
I {Drops her head on Experience's breast) 
' I'se so tired, tired. 



£20 THE COUNTY LINE. , ^j 

EXPERIENCE. 
What's the matter, dear ? 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 

Feet wet — chasing frogs ! 

EXPERIENCE. 

Merciful goodness ! Tlie child is croupy, I must put her 
feet in mustard and water, and put her to bed. 

(Moves to line. Stops) 
I can't go that way. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 
, My frout is sore. , • ; 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Looks to house) 

Where on earth does she keep the goose-ile ? 

(Moves\up to oiien nrindow. Puts Little Experience itp 

the ivindow and then begins to climb in the window 

after her, as the curtain falls) 

Sloiv Curtain. 



02 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEBD ; OR, 



ACT III. 

Scene — Same as Act I. 

Time — Night of the next day. 

Discovered— Experience, seated in a rocking chair just on 

the edge of the line on the floor, and facing "■ fireplace. 

Little Experience mi her lap, asleep. Fire burnfng, 

windows jiark. Lighted lamp on table. A shawl on the 

settee. 

Quiet music, 

EXPERIENCE. 

" Strange how the sins of the fathers become the visitation 
of the children ! Just because father thought they taxed 
him too much, he moved away and made me break my en- 
gagement to Abijah. Fathers can be terrible hard on daugh- 
ters—sometimes ! Then he made me promise him on his 
dying bed that I never would set foot in Hackmatack 
County I 

(Looks 071 floor) 
And here I be. tending Abijah's child, and only a hand's 
breatdth from Hackmatack County. Pity they didn't draw 
the County line a leetle mite that way — then I could sit up 
to the fireplace. 

(Looks at picture) 
I declare that picture . don't look like a woman who would 
run away from home ! 

(To picture) 
You never was good enough for a saint like Abijah ! Ami 
that's my opinion of you, marm ! 

(Looks L.) 
Here he comes and looking as chipper as you please. Her 
running away don't worry him. 

('^nter Abijah, l. Appears cheerfid and happy. Carries 
an unlighted lahtern in his hand) 

ABIJAH. 

(Aside at door) 

I thought before the vendoo, I'd never feed my crittei-s 
again. And now I don't know who owns them ! 
(To Experience) 

She is some better to-night ? - ■ "'. 

(CrosestoR.) 

EXPERIENCE. 

Some. .■"- 

ABIJAH. 
(Puts lantern on shelf) 

Your real kind to take care of her— and she not related to 
you I 



r : " THE COUNTY LINE, 5^ 

EXPERIENCE. 

Well ! You don't suppose that makes any difference f;o a 
.woman ! 

ABIJAH. 

Why don't you sit up nearer to the fire— and he more 
sosheeble, 

EXPERIENCE. 
Thank you. I'm very comfortable where I am. All the 
child wanted was a little plain mothering, 

ABIJAH. 

{ Croses to r.) 

If Silence could know about things, she would be glad yon 
cared for her children ! Silence was a good mother— while 
she was here. 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Dryly) 
Oh ! Yes. She loved 'em a lot. 

ABIJAH. 

Guess if you hadn't taken care of Little Experience last 
night she might have been real sick. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Dare say, she was croupy, but the goose-iJe fetched her 
out of it. 

ABIJAH. 
(Sits on table — aside) 
She's colder than the north side of a January tombstone. 

EXPERIENCE. 

j (Aside) 

I don't know what the man's made of ! His wife deserts 
him and he's as contented as a piece of pie. 
^ (Rises and tvalks to and fro at l. of c, with Little Expe- 
rience in her arms) 

ABIJAH. 

(Aside, gazing at fire) 

She's as carm and freezy as moonlight in December. Last 
night, I thought I saw Silence and looking as sweet as could 
be ! I told her Experience was tending our baby — and she 
sorter smiled as if she was glad. 

(A knock at door, back) 

EXPERIENCE. 
(To Abu ah) 

Take the "child and put her on the settee. It's some of 
the nabers. 

^ (ABiJAH_comes to her. takes Little E^periexce, and moves 
to se'tee and lays her doivn on shaicl) 



.,5i EXPERIENCE SMART WEED ; OR, 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Crossing to door. To Abu ah) 
Cover her up wai'm. 
(Opens door at hack) 
(Enter hxwER Chatham) 

CHATHAM. 

(Taking off hat and coat) 

Good evening, Miss Smartweed, Mr. Hopkins at home V 

!' EXPERIENCE. 

(Closing door) 
Yes. Won't you come in. Suppose you got my letter. I 
had sick child to cave for and could'nt coine for my money, 

CHAT~AM. 

That's all right, marm. ^ave it ready for you to -m or row. 

(To Abijah) 
Evening, Mr. Hopkins. Heard some stranger was at your 
vendoo and give you five hundred dollars tor the whole lot. 

ABIJAH. 

(Astonished : rises) 

You don't mean it. Adonirum told me some feller 
bought all the stuff, but he didn't tell me 'twas for five hun- 
dred dollars. Why, the stuff isn't worth two hundred dollars. 
I can't take no such foolish bid ! 

CHATHAM. 

You've got to take it. Joseph Lascom's boys have put the 
claim for the four hundred dollars you owed their father into 
my hands and I want the money. 

ABIJAH. 

I tell you I paid Joe Lascom that four hundred dollars 
just 'fore he died. 

CHATHAM. 

Did he give you a receipt ? 

ABIJAH. 

Joe Lascom and me was nabers for twenty years. His 
word was as good as mine. We didn't need no receipt because 
he knew I paid him. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Aside) 

I always said Abijah was a saint on earth. And most saints 
I've met seemed to be in immediate need of a gardeen. 

CHATHAM. 

There were no witnesses present when you paid the money? 



THE COUNTY LINE. 55 

* EXPERIENCE. 

(Aside) 
•He needs a gardeen this minute. 

ABIJAH. 

T give Joe Lascom the money at his gate just as he was 
^starting for Seller's Falls. Poor Joe didn't know 'twas his 
last journey. Engine run off the track and bust her bilerand 
Joe was so scart he died in the cars. Joe always had a weak 
heart. 

CHATHAM. 

Was the money found on him? 

ABIJAH. 
No. Some feller took it — and his silver watch. 

CHATHAM. 
Oil, tliafs an old story. You pay me the four hundred dol- 
lars or I'll attach every stick of property on tlie place ! 

EXPERIENCE. 
Excuse me. Lawyer Chatham, have you any papers to prove 
that old Mr. Lascom told his sons that Mr. Hopkins had not 
paid him ? 

CHATHAM. 
(Angry) 
No, I haven't. 

EXPERIENCE. 

I believe the Lascoms live in Hackmatack County. 

CHATHAM. 

(More angry) 

Now. don't you tiy any County Line tricks on me. I won't 
stand it. Mr. Hopkins is in Hackmatack County and I shall 
attach his property in that county. This is no concern of 
jours and you tend to your own business. 

ABIJAH. 

(Suddenly showing fight and picMng up a chair) 

Take that b;ick, you infernal skunk, or I'll knock ye down j 

EXPERIENCE. 

Mr. Hopkins, FU take care of tliis person. 

ABIJAH. "^"^ 

(Pats down chair) ,■ 

' He better shut up— or I'll break his head for him. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Aside : pleased) 

My ! He"s quite spunky— for a saint. 
(to Chatham) 
Excuse me. mister. No attachment can be maintained, for I 



•56 vEXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

•am the sole owner of all the personal property here — in both 
counties, r- 

ABIJAH. 
(Astonished) 
You, Experience ! 

[Turns aioay r., sits on settee with his face in his' hantisy 
Appears greatly affected) 

CHATHAM. 
Oh, then, you were the fool — I mean the highest bidder at 
the vendoo. Glad to know it, marm. I shall at once levy art 
attachment on the house. 

EXPERIENCE. 
All right, mister, you can 'tach the Hackmatack end of 
this house, but if you tech as much as a clapboard or a shingle 
nail in Maple Countjs I'll make it so unpleasant for you that 
you'll wish you had never been born. 

CHATHAM. 
(Moves up back) 
I'll have the law on ye both, darn ye ! 

EXPERIENCE. 

Just as you like, but I guess you'd better go considerable 
slow 'bout it. Better sleep on it, mister, or count ten before 
you start. Going to law is a good deal like going to Boston 
— whichever road you take you'll wish you'd taken the other. 

(Exit Chatham, verg angry, at back) 

(Observing Abijah, aside) 

Just as I 'spected. He's bi-oken down at last. His wife's 
desertion is too much for him. It's awful to see a man cry. 

(Moves to L. ) 
I don't see what I can do to help him. If she had killed 
herself or done something sensible like that, Pd know what 
to do ! 

(To Abijah) 
You might put Experience in her own bed to-night. She'll 
be better in the morning. 

(At door L. ) 
Suppose I ought to put Iier to bed myself — and yet I hate to 
intrude on his misery. 'Sides, she sleeps in the other county. 

(Exits at L., looking in pity at the others) 

ABIJAH. 

(Turns to front ; rises; appears to be extravagantly happy) 
Wish I could remember that uplifting song the folks in the 

singing seats sang last Sunday up to the meeting-house. I 

I'emember : "He watching over Israel slumbers not nor 

sleeps." 

(Taking up Little Experience in his arms) 

He didn't forget us, baby, for He sent His best and biggest 



' ; THE COUNTY LINE. 57 

angel to help us. " He moves in mysterious ways His won- 
ders to perform." He took away the money Uncle Ebeneezer 
.ought to give as — and He sends Experience back to us, and 
she loves us, baby, — she loves us, and so she came to the ven- 
doo and bought everything — you and Josiah and me and the 
critters in the barn and mother's picture there and all mother's 
things. 

(Vtdoor) 
Experience ' owns us all now. " He watching over Israel, 
Slumbers not nor sleeps." 

cexits to R, and carrying knocks at door back. Second 
knock. The door is opened from back. 
(Enter Ado^irvm. carrying bunch of old fashioned flowers. 
Fppears better dressed.) 

ADONIRUM. 

(Looks Nbout ) 

Anybody home ? Must be to supper. 

(Takes off coat, etc.) 
Might's well wait for hef. 

( Crosses to fire and places flowers on table. ) 
Thought I wouldn't have any trouble 'bout finding how 
she's fixed. Lawyer Chatham says old Ebenezer Samson cut 
Abijah off with four dollars, ^on account of that bull-calf 
business, and left Experience Smartweed his whole fortune 
-rr-lock stock;and barrel. 

(Enter Experience at l.) 

ADONIRUM. 
(Pleased) 
I Evening, Experience. 

EXPERIENCE, 

(Surprised) 

Oh, that you, Mister Simpkins? Suppose you'd like to 
see Mr. Hopkins? 

ADONIRUM. 

No, no. Not just now. I came to see you, Experienpe. 
You're looking first-rate this \ evening — handsome as ever, 
tho' you are some stouter than you was as a girl. It don't 
hurt you none. No, it don't. Ifs real becoming. 

(Off ers flowers) 
Didn't know but you'd like some flowers. I cut 'em for you 
in ^sister's garden. I ain't Ino great on flowers myself— 
thought you'd like 'em to remember old times when you and 
me was to school together up to Tatter Hill. 

EXPERIENCE. 
( Takes flowers and opens the bunch and pins some of them 
'Z , on her dress) 
Oh, thank you. Mister Simpkins. The poor things are 



g8 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; QR, 

squeezed most to death. Hope you didn't rob your sister?s 
garden. 

ADONIRUM. 
(Sits on settee) 

Oh, sister won't mind. Won't you have a seat on the 
settee/ Experience ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Sits in chair at c.) 

No, thank you, Nirum. Guess it would be little too 
warm. 

ADONIRUM.g 

Suppose you'll live in Ebeneezer's house — now it's your'n f - 

EXPERIENCE. 
Dunno's I shall. I don't feel very much drawn to Hack- 
matack County. I promised father I'd never live there 
again. 

ADONIRUM. 

Why all your "property's in that county. Part of your 
place touches mine and if the two were joined together — 
they'd make considerable of a place. I've saved little money 
Experience and I wouldn't mind spending some of it to fix 
up our old house and make it comfortable for you. 

EXPERIENCE. 
That's real kind in you, Nirum. I'm in no great need of a 
home just now. 

ADONIRUM. 
You"ain't going to marry — Abijah ? : 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Indignant) 
Well, I guess not. What put that into your head ? 

ADONIRUM.; 
I thought he seemed kinder 'tentive — since you got 
.money. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Abijah Hopkins never thought of such a thing. 
ADONIRUM. ] 

(Rises and comes to her) 

Experience, I've never forgot you since we went to school 
together. I always did like you. I like you now. Ifs 
terrible lonely up to our house. There's nobody there, but 
me and sister, and sister's stone deaf— and near-sighted — 
and sorter losing her holt. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Poor Mandy— she taught school, didn't she ? 

(Here Abijah enters r. Pauses at door on seeing others) 



r :::^ the county line. 5,9 

ADONIRUM. 

[ Yes, twenty years. 

EXPERIENCE. 
And cooked for you and did the mending and kept chickens 
—same time. I ain't a might surprised she's gone into a 
decline. 

ADONIRUM. 
I didn't know, Experience, but you'd marry me. You 
know I'd love to have you ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
I know you would, Nirum. And I'm real glad you think 
so much ofime. Same time, Nirum, seems as if I orter have 
time to consider it. Getting married is terrible solumn busi- 
ness. 

ABIJAH. 
(Aside) 

He's shining up to her. 
(Exits quietly at r.) 

ADONIRUM. 
Think it over, Experience. I don't want to hurry you none. 
Same time, it's terrible lonesome up to our house nights 
and Sundays. 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Rises) 

I thank you. Mr. Simpkins— for the honor and perhaps I'll 
think of it. Tell Mandy I wish I could call on her. 

ADONIRUM. 

; (Takes his ha2) 

Wish you would, Experience. She'll be real glad to see 
you — and so will I. Good-night, Experience. 

EXPERIENCE. 
I Good-night — Nirum. 
; ADONIRUM. 

(Aside, at door) 

She's mine — and the richest woman in the county. 

(To Experience) 
Night — Experience. ; 

(Exits at back) 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Sits at c.) 

He's a good proAdder, and I suppose I'd be sorter half way 
liappy with Iiuii. His sister's company won't be exactly 
cheering, but I guess I can stand it. Some day I'll be a lonely 
old woman — and a good home with an open fire and plenty of 
rocking-chairs is a great comfort. 

(Sits gazing at fire) 
(Enter Abijah quickly at R.) . , 



60 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

ABIJAH. 

Experience ! 

EXPERIENCE. 

(^Startled) 

Oh, that you, Abijah? She asleep? 

ABIJAH. 
No. She's sorter wakefixl— and keeps crying for — hex 
mother. And it made me want to ask you something. 

EXPERIENCE. 

, Anything I can do 

ABIJAH. 
Don't be so freezy, Experience. Nirum Simpkins was here 
to see you. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Yes. He was here — just now. He brought me these 
flowers. He's a good man — Abijah. 

ABIJAH. 
He's got no children crying for you. He don't need you as 
we do — he can't love you as we do. I mean as I do. 

EXPERIENCE. 

How dare you say such things to me? You're dreadful 
forgetful, Mr. Hopkins. 

{Aside) 
Seems as if my heart was tore to forty pieces. 

ABIJAH. 
Oh, I know I'm a poor man and you are the richest woman 
in Maple County, but I loved you once — and I love you now ! 

EXPERIENCE. 
Yes. And the minute I went away you — married. 

ABIJAH. 
I had to, Experience. I had to have a woman round the 
place. 

EXPERIENCE. 
And now your wife has left you — you talk of love to me. 
It would have been more becoming to have kept silence. 

ABIJAH. 
I wish I could have kept Silence — but she went away to a 
better place. 

EXPERIENCE. 
I'm terrible sorry for you, iMr. Hopkins. Ifs a dreadful 
thing for a woman to leave a man to bring up children by 
hand ; but that's no reason why you should talk of love tome. 



■ " ■ THE COUNTY LINE. Q^ 

ABIJAH. 
Seems as if I had to, Experience. 
(Points to R.) 
They made me do it. 

EXPERIENCE. 
W^ Can't you understand that it isn't proper, sir ? You must 
never speak of love to me again. 

ABIJAH. 

(Turns aioay) 

I'm sorry I spoke, Miss Smarjtweed. - 

EXPERIENCE. 
Yes. So be I ! 
(Aside) 
I'll remember every word to my dying day. 

A3^IJAH. 

(Aside) 

Getting rich has turned her heart to a grin'stone. Suj)pose 
you'll be going — home — to-morrow. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Guess I'll have to — things has changed — considerable since 
I went away — and it don't seem as tho' I orter stay any 
longer. 

ABIJAH. 
(Lights candle from mantel) 
You know where your room is. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Yes, thank'ee. 

ABIJAH. 
(Moves to door r. ) 

I'll have to bid you good night — for I'm — all wore out. 
[Exits slowly at R. , closing the door softly.) Experience 

crosses quickly to door R. and falls on her knees before 

the door, sobbing bitterly) 

EXPERIENCE. 
I didn't know it would hurt so terrible — so terrible ! He'll 
never know liow inuch I loved him — he'll never — never know 
— and I've got to carry the sorrow of it— to the end of my days. 
(Rises slowly. Looks about. Sees the flowers on the table. 
Picks them up and flings them in the fire. Then tears 
off the flowers on her dress and throws them also in the 
fire, then abruptly crosses the line to L. 
Gracious. I forgot the County Line. 

(Here the door at back opens slowly and Prudence, carrying 
a hand bag, enters. Ajyjiears tired and disgusted) 



62 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

EXPERIENCE. 

[ {Surprised and indignant) 
So, you've come back ! 

PRUDENCE. 
I {Puts down bag) 
\ pii, Miss Smartweed, we've had a terrible time. 

EXPERIENCE, 
Suppose you'll want the fatted calf killed and the be,?t 
raiment brought out and all the other prodigal business. 

PRUDENCE. 
We got as far as Albany when we bought a paper — and the 
firm that had engaged Truly had failed. So we came home. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Suppose the Prodigal Son came with you ? 

PRUDENCE. 

{Taking off things) 

I don't know what you mean. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Where's the young man you went away with ? 

PRUDENCE. 
Oh, we went to his mother's soon's we arrived, and when he 
told lier what we had done she went into convulsions. 

EXPERIENCE. 
I aint a mite surprised, poor woman ! Wonder she didn't 
give right up and be translated on the spot ! 

PRUDENCE. 

Oh, Miss Smartweed. Can't you speak to Abijah ? Can't 
you ask him to forgive me ? 

EXPERIENCE. 

{^ndignant) 

You ask me to intercede for this shameless desertion of 
your home. It's monstrous ! Outrageous I I'm ashamed of 
you. Silence. 

PRUDENCE. 
Oh, I know. I suppose I ought to keep quiet. I know I've 
done very wrong. I'll never, never do so again. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Where were you — last niglit ? 

PRUDENCE. 
On the cars. We were married this morning—at Albany. 



THE COUNTY LINE. 63 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Angry) 

Oh, this is awful. You can't expect me to ask him to for- 
give you ? 

PRUDENCE. 

Oh, Miss Smart weed ! Was it wrong to marry the man T 
love ? We were liasty, perhaps, but now we are in dreadful 
trouble, My husband lias nothing to do. I didn't know but 
'Abijah would let him work round the place till he could get 
a job somewhere. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Oh, Silence ! Sile ice ! How can you talk like that ? 

PRUDENCE. 
Oh, well, it's no matter. As you say, the best way is to 
suffer in silence. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Relenting) 

You poor misguided child ! I will help you if I can ! We 
are all poor sinful critters. Your husband is crushed by your 
cruel desertion. His mind's all going to pieces. In his wan- 
dering moments he actually made love to me. 

PRUDENCE. 

(Astonished) 

My husband make love to you. Oh, you're crazy ! He 
couldn't — he woukha't do it ! 

EXPERIENCE. 

Silence. Little Experience was croupy last niget. If I 
hadn't given her some goose ile you might never have seen 
your poor child again. 

PRUDENCE. 
My child — croupy ! What on earth are you talking abovit ?"' 
I have no child. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Silence Hopkms ! Don't add falsehood to . ""^^^ 

(Prudence svddenly burst into a prolonged shout of laughter. 
Experience looks at her severely. Aside) 
'Sterics ! I 'spected it. She'll have a fit in a minute. 

PRUDENCE. 

(Recovering herself) 

Thank you, marm. You are entirely mistaken. Poor mis- 
guided child, indeed! And my husband's all breaking up. 
He made love to you, did he ? 

(^n suddenly changed manner) 
Forgive me, Miss Smart weed ! You are a jdear, sweet, good 



Q4: EXPERIENCE SMART WEED ; OR, 

woman and I love j' ou and so does jny brother, Abijah Hop.- 
kins. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Siirprified) 

Your brother ! 

(Enter Little Experience at r. in her night-dress) '■. 

PRUDENCE. 
;^0h, there is Little Experience. Conie to auntie, dear ! 

l^s^^ LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 

((roes to Experience) 
I'd rather go — to mother. 

PRUDENCE. 
It's an inspiration, Miss Sraartweed. She calls you mother. 
' (Experience tal^es Little Experience in her arms) 

PRUDENCE. 

( Comes to them : points to pietiire) 

Poor Sister Silence — Abijah's wife — must be very happy to- 
night — if she can see her baby in your arms. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Points to picture) 
She's asleep ? 

. PRUDENCE. 

Yes— up to the cemetery. ^ 

EXPERIENCE. 

(To the picture) 

I'm a poor, blundering, sinful woman — and I ask j^our par- 
don ! 

(Prudence takes Litte Experienre in her arms. Exit. Ex- 
perience slowty kneel hy the chair before thepictxire) 

Slow Curtain. 



E^ ::: ^- the county^ line. , ,.- 65 



ACT IV. 

njSCENE — Same as Act ^". e.rcept that the house is noio raised 
OH timbers and jacks, ax if about tobe moved. Heavy tim- 
bers at right of house and block and tackle affixed to end 
of house. 
Time — Noon of the next da/j. 

Discovered— Several men at nrork, preparing to move Hie 
house. Prudexce seated with the tioo children _ under 
the tree at 'L. The inen appear to work very sloivly. One, 
looks at h,is loatch. Another stops and looks up at the 
sun. The children appear better dressed. 

JOSIAH. L - , 

(TV) Prudence) 
L_ Where's father gone, auntie ? 

PRUDENCE. 
Father's gone to the country town to get .some papers for 
- Miss Smartweed. 

LITTLE EXPERIENCE. 

[' (Points to Ihouse) 

What they doing to the house ? 

PRUDENCE. 
I don't know, dearie. Experience didn't tell me what it 
means. 

(Enter Experience from barn R. Stands, looking at the 
house. The moment she appears, the men suddenly begin 
to be very active icith their toork) 

EXPERIENCE. 

That's right. Fly round minute I see you. Suppose you sit 
on the house when I'm not looking, afraid it will fly away ? 
Remember, you don't get a dollar unless you finish the job on 

(The men work more rapidly and get in each other's way and 

fall over each other) 
That's riglit. Get all tangled up ! Men are the most curious 
critters the Lord ever made. 

(Here a distant steam whistle is heard. The men instantly 
drop their tools and sit down) 
Great suds ! Do you stop like that just because you hear 
the brewery whistle ? 

PRUDENCE. . _. ." 

It's dinner-time, Miss Smartweed. 

EXPERIENCE. i 

' [To men) 



f^Q EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

Ten minutes for refreshments. You've got to get through 
on time or I'll not paj' you one cent. 

C^he men appear to grumble among themselves and exit at 
back) 
Of all the uncertain, unreliable, lazy, inefficient and disap- 
pointing things in tliis vale of — give me a man. 

(Looks back) 
And here comes anotlier looking for all the world like the 
Prodigal Son. 

\^ (Enter Truly at iback. Appears to be in trouble. Prup- 
'ENCE appears pleased) 

TRULY. 

(3o Experience) " 

Good-morning, marm. 

EXPERIENCE. 
■ Oh, afternoon, Mister. How's your Ma's convulsipns? 

TRULY. 
Convulsions ! 

PRUDENCE. 

(7b Truly) 

She means the fit your mother had last night when yonx 
told her we were married. 

TRULY. ■ 
Oh ! She got bravely over that and says it will be all right 
as soon as your brother-in-law is married. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Who said Abijalx Hopkins was to be married ? Young man ! 
You had better tell your folks to stop talking 'bout the na- 
,bers. 

TRULY. 

Certainly, marm. No offense intended. 
(To Prudence) :< 

Are we forgiven, Prudence? 

PRUDENCE. 

Abijah went to the country town .this morning, and I 
■didn't have a chance to speak to him. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Youve behaved pretty badly, young man, running away 
to get married. I ain't a mite sorry you got Into trouble. 
Why didn't you tell me "bout it ? I could have fixed it all 
right. You would go off in the night, as if you were ashamed 
to love each other. 

TRULY. 

I wished I had told you. Perhaps it would have saved me 
that night in the closet. 

LofC. 



THE COUNTY LINE. .^7 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Severely) 

Where I put you for being iiauglity. 
{Others astonished. Look at each other) 
■ Now, young man, how do you propose to support your wife? 

TRULY. 

(Prudence rises and comes to Truly. The children play 

together by her) 
I dare say, I'll find a job somewhere. 

EXPERIENCE. 

What can you do ? 

TRULY. 

Keep books, type-writing, short-hand, sweep out stoi'e pr 
" polish up the handle of the big front door." 

PRUDENCE. 

(To Truly) 

Don't, Truly. I hate trifling. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Well, I've considerable property one way an' another and tl 
want ^ sti'aightforward, lionest young man to look after my 
;'counts and things. 

PRUDENCE. 

Oh, Miss Smartweed. We can never thank you enough. 

EXPERIENCE. 
I'm not so distressing rich as some folks think and I can't 
give you but — fiftj^ a week. 
' Prudence a?id Truly, surprised and delighted, hold oat their 

hands to her as if to thank her) 
,Qh. you needn't act like tliat. Fifty a week — not a cent 
liiore. You'll have to scrape along on that best way you can. 

TRULY. 
I accept your generous offer with gratitude, niarm. When 
(do my duties begin ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
This minute. Go look after those men. I gave them ten 
minutes for dinner. See that they don't take more'n four 
bites to a piece of pie. 

TRULY. i_::j..;;!ii^ 

(Moves up) 
I'll take hold at once. 

(Exits at back) ~.ll., 

PRUDENCE. 
' Is there anything I can do, Miss Smartweed ? 



S^ EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, ' - 

EXPERIENCE. 
Take the children to the spring-house and give tliem some 
bread and milk, and then bring me a piece of pie. 

PRUDENCE. 

(Leading children off first L.) 

Come, dearies. Let's see what we can find in the spring- 
house. 

(Exit at first L.) 

EXPERIENCE. 

Suppose 111 have to put oflf getting my money for another 
day. Sometimes it does seem as if all that money didn't 
rightfully belong to me. Abijah was cousin Ebineezer's only 
nephew and next of kin. Seems as if he ought to have a 
share of the money, and lie's as poor as Job's cat. I'm going 
to find out what he gets 'fore I toucli a dollar of my share, so 
i sent Abijah to the country town to get a copy of the will. 
I might have asked Lawyer Chatham, but he's such a sneak- 
ing, underhanded — speak of the cat, and you get scratched. 

(Enter Lawyer Chatham at back. Looks at house ; appears 
surprised) 

CHATHAM. 
Afternoon, marm. What's Hopkins going to do to his 
house ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
Mister Hopkins didn't tell me. Mister Chatham. 

CHATHAM. 
Hopkins is the vvorse case of born fool I ever met. "'' 

EXPERIENCE. 
That so, mister '? 

CHATHAM. 
Yes, broke out all over him like the rash. 
EXPERIENCE. 

(Draivs back from him) 

You seem to have took it pretty bad from him yourself, 
Mister. Hope it won't strike in. 

CHATHAM. 

(Angry and. taking out papers) 

I didn't come to bandy words with you, marm. I've come 
to forbid you to pay any part of that five hundred dollars you 
owe Abijah Hopkins till my claim on behalf of the heirs of 
Joseph Lascom is settled. There are the jjapers. 

EXPERIENCE, 
All right, mister. You're the smallest, meanest, little nab- 
bins of a lawyer I ever met. What you need is a good old- 



THE COUNTY LINE. " QQ 

fashioned spanking and I"m [going to give it to you— meta- 
physically speaking— till you holler for mercy. 

CHATHAM. 

( Thrmsts papers in her hand) , 

There are the papers, marm. 
(Experience examines papers. Chatham goes to door of 
hovse and knocks) 

EXPERIENCE. 
Mr. Hopkins isn't at home. 

CHATHAM. 

I propose to attach as much of this house as lies in Hack- 
matack County. If he's not here, I'll pin the papers to the 
door. 

EXPERIENCE. 

All riglit, mister. Don't be surprised if a certain piece of 
propertj^ should fly away. 

(Throws tite paper she holds overihe line) 

CHATHAM. 

XOhserviag her) 

Why do you treat legal papers like^that ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
Wrong county, mister. You have caught Abijah's foolish- 
.ness youi'self. 

CHATHAM. 

{Picks up paper ; looks at it ; moves up and' then. exits) 
Thunderation ! 

EXPERIENCE. 
That's right, mister. You better run home and bathe your 
head in goose-ile. 

{Turns to right. Aside) 
Gracious, I promised Abijah I'd feed the critters in the barn. 
I most forgot 'em. 

{Exits to barn. Enter ivorkmen at back and followed bif 

Truly. Men go to work on the house. Then enter PRUf 

DENCE //'OHi house until, a plate on lohich is apiece of pie. 

And also enter at same time from back Adonirum. He 

I gazes at the work in surprise and curiosity) 

ADONIRUM. 

What, in the name of sense, is Abijah doing to his house ? 

TRULY. 

Couldn't tell you. 

ADONIRUM. 
House won't be fit to live in. ' : , 



^0 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

PRUDENCE. 

Olr! Yes, it will be fit. to live in. Miss Smartweed knoT^s 
what she's about. 

ADONIRUM. 

Miss Smartweed doing it. She'll need a garden before 
long. 

(Looks off back) 
I swam ! Here's Abijah now. 

(Enter Abijah at hack and carrying a large envelope) 

ABIJAH. 

(7\> Prudence) 

Where's Experience ? I've got that paper for her. I gave 
her letter to the Reader at the Probate Court — and he gave 
nie this envelope. 

(Discovers the men at work) 
Great 'arth and seas ! What they doing to my house ? 

TRULY. 
That's all right. Mr. Hopkins. That's all right. Miss Smart- 
weed thought the underpinnings was loose and told the men to 
jack her up. 

ABIJAH. 

Tell "em to stop. I can't pay for no repairs like that. 

PRUDENCE. 
It's all right. Abijah. It's all right, Miss Smartweed 
wouldn't do it unless she expected to pay for it. 

ADONIRUM. 

What you got in tlie envelope, Abijah ? 

ABIJAH. 

I don't know. Some paper Experience wanted, 

ADONIRUM. 

Guess it's a copy of your uncle's will. Let me look at it a 
minute. 

ABIJAH. 

(Offers envelope] 

Don't suppose it will do any great harm to look at it, T 
ain't interested in Uncle Ebinezeer's will, 

ADONIRUM. 

(Opens envelope and reads papers inside it. Aside) 

Just what Lawyer Chatham said. Left everything to 

Experience. 
(To Abijah) 

Suppose yon read this paper ? 



THE COUNTY LINE. i, ^ 7I 

ABIJAH. 

No. 'Twasn't for me— so I didn't open it. 
(Enter Experience at r. ) 

ADONIRUM. 
Abijah, you're too honest to live in this sinful world. This 
is a copy of your uncle's will. Don't you know who he left 
his money to ? 

ABIJAH. 
Folks said 'twas some woman up to Rutland. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Suddenly grasping the papers from Adonirum's hand) 
Excuse me, Mr. Simpkins. That paper belongs to me* 
(Others surprised) '} 

ADONIRUM. 
(Aside to Experience) 

It's a copy of Ebinezeer's will and Abijah's such a fool he 
wouldn't read it. 

(Prudence and Truly appear to he trying to prevent A.B1- 
j AS. from interfering luith the tvorJcmen at R.) 

EXPERIENCE. 
You read it ? 

ADONIRUM. 
Well — yes — I read it. 

EXPERIENCE. 

And he did not read it ? You did not tell him I am the 
heir ? 

ADONIRUM, 
Well, no. He don't seem interested. 
EXPERIENCE. 
i You were interested ? 

ADONIRUM. 
(Hesitates) 
Now — you know, Experience — you and me wei'e old school 

friends and 

EXPERIENCE. 
And we remain friends — only. I don't know by what 
Providence this honest and upright man lias been kept in 
ignorance of the details of this will, but I do know that if you 
tell him one word about it we shall be less than friends. 

ADONIRUM. 
(Penitent) 
I hoped we would be more. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Y'es, because you know the contents of this paper. 



Y2 EXPERIENCE SMART WEED ; OR, 

ADONIRUM. 
Lawyer Chatham told me. 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Fiercely) 

Yes. And he was the executor and did not tell him — but 
did tell you. Going to school up to Tater Hill, Mister, didn't 
seem to give anj^ great size to your heart. Tell your sister, 
Mandy, she has my sympathy. 

(Adonirum turns away disgusted to right and then moves 
slowly up to back. Experience moves to R. c. and 
beckons to Truly, loho comes to her. She speaks to him 
and points to house and he speaks to her and nods as if 
in answer to her questions. Enter Lawyer Chatham 
at back. He meets Adonirum, who is going up. Adon- 
irum at once attacks him and knocks him down, and 
exits at back. Chatham gets up and limps to the seat 
by the barn door. Others surprised. Truly at once 
exits at back and is followed by all the men) 

EXPERIENCE. 

(lb Prudence) 

Prudence, fetch the goose-ile. 

(Prudence mores to door) 
Hold on a minute. Give me that pie first ! 

(Prudence hands her the pie) 
Thankee. There's nothing quite so comforting — as plain pie. 

{Eats the pie. Exit Prudence to house) 
ABIJAH. 

(Sits under tree at l. Aside) 

She has her own way — and I haven't the heart to complain. 

( Enter Prudence from hbuse uiith glass bottle containing 
pale yellow liquid. Gives it to Experience) 

EXPERIENCE. 
Thankee. You might stop in the house. Prudence, and set 
-all the chinee on the floor where it won't break. 

(Gives plate to her. Exits Prudence to house. Experie|JCE 

offers bottle to Chatham) 
Take this to the barn, Mister — and bathe — the sore place. 

CHATHAM. 
' Keep your stuff. I don't want it. 

EXPERIENCE. 
You ready to holler for mercy yet ? 

' CHATHAM. 

No, darn ye ! 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Puts bottle on floor near door) 
All right, Mister. You set right where you be and in a 



THE COUNTY LINE. 73 

minute you'll feel real sorry your father spared the rod when 
you was a boJ^ Some fathers are so inconsiderate. 

CHATHAM. 
Oh, let up ! I know when I'm licked. 
EXPERIENCE. 
It must be a great comfort, Mister. There's that money 
Mr. Hopkins paid to Joe Lascom. I guess that's been paid, 
hasn't it? 

CHATHAM. 
I don't know. 

EXPERIENCE. 

And the bull-calf business — and the fact that you never 
told Mr. Hopkins that I inherited his uncle's money. 

CHATHAM. 
Oh ! I'll tell him. 

EXPERIENCE. 
Don't you dare to tell him — I'll tell him myself when I get 
good and ready. I'm driving, Mister, just now. and don't 
you kick over the traces. 

CHATHAM. 
You've got the whip hand, but I've attached the house, 
anyway. 

EXPERIENCE. 

, Better keep your eye on the papers, mister. They na^J 
blow away— into the next county. 

(Experience turns to left, and as soon as her back is turned 
Chatham rises, picks up the bottle, and exits into barn 
{Aside) 
Looks as if I'd have to do the proposing this time. 
{In changed manner, to Abijah) 
Would you. believe it these children are married. They seem 
^to be terribly happy. Getting married is like waking up 
on a Sunday morning in June, and everything peaceful 
and sunshiny. 

ABIJAH. 

Suppose 'tis — if you get the right woman. 

EXPERIENCE. 
{Aside) 

Wish he wouldn't stay in the next county. \ 
{Direct) 
I'm sorry I upset your vendoo, 'Bijah. 

ABIJAH. 

You meant well. Miss Smartweed. 

EXPERIENCE. 

{Aside) ■ ; 



74 EXPERIENCE SMARTWEED ; OR, 

He's a regular ice-pitcher. 

(To him) 
You can give all the stuff I bought to the children to remem 
ber nie by. 

ABU AH. 

(Rises and moves r.) 

You ain't going away, Experience ? 

EXPERIENCE. 
I had thought some of it. 

ABU AH. " 
I sha'n't never forget you. You're a rich woman, Experi- 
•ence, and I'm a poor^man. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Me rich! What on 'arth you talking about? "Why, all 
father got for that graphite mine was three thousand dollars, 
and it was divided among us thirteen children, so my share 
wasn't great to speak of. 

{Aside) 
It's plain. I've got to do it. 

{To Abu AH) 
Suppose, Abijah. I hadn't 'a cent in the world, would yoti 
marry me ? 

ABUAH. 

{Steps nearer to her) 

Quicker 'n lightning. 

EXPERIENCE 
{Archly) 

I'm surprised, Mr. Hopkins, you don't marry the woman 
who got your uncle's money. 

ABUAH. 

Oh, darn that woman ! Dare say she's some mean, close- 
fisted, scrawny old maid. Let her keep the money, so long 
as it don't come 'tween you and me. 

EXPERIENCE. 

Oh, "Bijah, "Bijah 1 Don't you see I can't come into Hack- 
matack County ? 

{He suddenly steps over the line and embraces her) 
' Gracious ! Why didn't you do it before ? 

PRUDENCE. 

{Enters quickly at door of house and springs to the ground) 

Mercy ! There's an earthquake in the house. 

{Enter Truly quickly at back. Enter Chatham at rigid) 

TRULY. 
Here she goes ! Here she goes ! " 
(The house sloivly moves to the right and then stops) 



THE COUNTY LINE. Y5 

EXPERIENCE. 

(Calls off right) 

Gro ahead ! You haven't cleared the line. 

(The house moves again slowly) 

EXPERIENCE. 
Stop her ! Fix her there. 
(The house stops. Sound of cheering outside) 
Truly, give every man five dollars extra. It was well done. 
(Truly tears paper from house and gives it to Chatham) 

ABIJAH. 

Great 'arth and seas, Experience ! What does that mean ''i 
(Chatham tears loaper up) 

EXPERIENCE. 
You dear, blessed husband, can't you see that I can't live 
in your county, so I moved your house into mine. 

CHATHAM. 

(To Experience) 

I'm licked, marm. I quit every clain'i. 

(To Abu AH. and giving Mm money) 

There's the four dollars your uncle left you. Your wife has 

all the 

EXPERIENCE. 
(Interrupts him) 
Excuse me, mister ; I will tell niy husband myself. 

Picture 
Slotv Curtain 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS ^ 



020 994 167 3 



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